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Your support makes all the difference.There’s a bit of a bizarre love pentangle situation on episode two of ITV2’s heat ’n heartache blockbuster. Twins Jess and Eve have parachuted into Love Island under strict instructions to cruelly wrench two of the boys from their doting partners. From the outset it’s clear they’ll pick Callum and Mike – and that Callum and Mike are very much up for being cruelly wrenched from their doting partners.
But Callum’s other half, Shaughna, is massively unimpressed and signals her disquiet by sucking the lips off her squeeze in the run-up to the big decision. Her demonstration of affection is loud, off-putting if you’re trying to snaffle a sneaky bowl of cereal and reminiscent of one of those face-huggers from Aliens. And it doesn’t do her any good anyway, as he’s all about Eve almost straight afterwards. Here are the other major talking points.
1: Love Island is in a bit of a rut
Banter, a kiss-and-tell game show, and a big choice at the end of the hour. Such is the formula to which Love Island has rigorously adhered across previous seasons and here we go again in South Africa.
The problem is that, as yet, the series has yet to cough up a break-out personality to make us ignore how predictable it all is. Mike, the likeliest of lads, is the closest to a star so far. But even he is essentially thoughtful and sensible. Good for him – not great for ITV ratings you suspect.
2: Do half the contestants even want to be on Love Island?
Leanne woke from her trance long enough to snog Mike during the tea-based kiss-and-tell competition (yes that is a thing). Otherwise she seemed perfectly happy in the background. Ditto Sophie, Paige, Cheatin’ Ollie, Connor of the wonder-teeth…. All are clearly appreciative of the free winter break in South Africa. But none is visibly burning up with desire to win Love Island.
3: Will Jess and Eve turn on one another?
Flickers of tension broke out between the twins as they weighed up which of the boys they wanted to pick (both fancied Mike). Obviously nobody in the real world would want to see sisters falling out. But unless a wedge of some sort is driven through their alliance it’s hard to see where the contrived conflict that is the lifeblood of reality TV will come from. Shaughna looks properly annoyed with Callum – but he had no say in whether or not he was chosen so a split there hardly yields oodles of dramatic potential. Winter Love Island is in danger of freezing over slightly.
The liveblog is now closed
Love Island continues every night on ITV2 at 9pm
The first challenge of the evening. It's called Spill the Tea. "The steamy secrets thing...you think, oh god," points out Shaughna.
Okay, this is unnecessarily complicated. There's a giant tea cup, into which contestants are plunged. And there are questions or something. Just like the islanders, I'm not thinking too deeply about it. Or thinking about it at all, actually.
What we've learned: Paige used to go out with Lewis Capaldi (we knew that already). Shaughna was designated tea girl at the office. Oh and now Callum is mimicking sex positions. Quick, dunk him in some tea!
Leanne kisses Mike and "gives it some wally". They're just clamping lips with whoever they fancy! Tea dunky game is lacking a genuine competitive element. Someone called Ofsted.
"I cannot control my face," says Shaughna. So now she knows how the rest of us feel 40 minutes into Love Island.
"Does it put me off you?" Connor asks Sophie. He isn't talking about his glow-in-the-dark teeth but the fact he's slept with 100 people.
They're still teasing the twins' big choice at the end. It's looking good for Mike (and bad for Leanne). But who will be the second pick? Love Island has been hinting it will be Connor or Callum. It could all be cunning misdirection – but probably isn't.
And now...the big moment. We can tell it's a big moment because they're all changing outfits again and the music has been turned up.
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