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Fun, laughter - and a nearby PC00:00
Just like that: the comics who make other comics laugh00:00
Should Linda McCartney join Elizabeth I in the revered bible of late, great Britons?00:00
Editor-At-Large: I won't hear a word against Thatcher (Carol, that is)00:00
Business Essentials: Too much of the new broom: 'How can I persuade my cleaners not to pack it in?'00:00
Skelton's cruel fate in redemption ride00:00
The art of sailing? Sit down and chill out00:00
Britain should do a Radcliffe and pull out of the Olympics00:00
A window on the world of data con-tricks00:00
One day, all this could be yours: a home and a huge claim for inheritance tax00:00
Kelis, Liquid Room, Edinburgh<br></br>2 Many DJs, Corn Exchange, Edinburgh00:00
The Championship: Cardiff see grim future without Earnshaw00:00
Six-term school year begins00:00
They came, they queued, they even flew: 24 hours in the life of Heathrow00:00
Mayhem fears as protesters target Bush00:00
With power prices like these, even Sid would switch00:00
Inside Lines: How flying the flag gave London a leg-up00:00
Mexico City Stories: Insight into blindness, as the city stops for a shot at gold00:00
Memory Lane as Hughton relishes French connection00:00
Family Outings: The London Eye and River Cruise Experience00:00
New mums need more old hands00:00
Twelfth Night, Albery, London<br></br>Blithe Spirit, Theatre Royal, Bath<br></br>Circus Oz, Royal Festival Hall, London00:00
Beattie's midriff turns tide for Mourinho00:00
Basketball star's rape trial recalls O J drama00:00
Racing: Stylish Chic earns her Celebration00:00
Miller saves wasteful Wolves00:00
Kidnappers of French hostages 'demand end to headscarf ban'00:00
Disgruntled gondoliers make waves on the canals of Venice00:00
Kelly's prayers are answered in the ultimate valediction00:00
Easier Fatherland by Steve Crawshaw00:00
Britain helped to foil Africa 'coup' plot00:00
The Chronicles of Riddick (15)<br></br>Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (12A)<br></br>Soul Plane (18)<br></br>Raising Helen (PG)<br></br>Fear and Trembling (nc)<br></br>Phone (15)<br></br>Donnie Darko: Director's Cut (15)00:00
New EU directive threatens to drive a coach and horses through mergers00:00
The marathon messenger's advice Paula ignored at her peril00:00
John Peel: The god of adolescence00:00
Britons stay home over bank holiday00:00
Kelly Holmes: The extraordinary story of the army girl plagued by injury who never gave up on her dream00:00
Churchill 'ordered killing of Mussolini'00:00
'We went out there and ran the best race of our lives'00:00
The golden fleet plot a fresh course for Beijing00:00
Peter Corrigan: The pitiful sight of courage on its last legs00:00
Trusts hope investors are ready to be thrilled00:00
'We walk a fine line,' says the boss whose airline tripped up00:00
Peter York on Ads: When Irish eyes are smarting, lenses are the solution00:00
Howard fury over White House ban00:00
Mark Thatcher is bad for Howard, but he's not so good for Blair, either00:00
Monet makes a massive impression on Rouen00:00
Ministers to amend Mental Health Bill00:00
Federer aims to put out New York's Bush fires00:00
How Blair double-crossed me, by Greg Dyke00:00
My Round: A taste of things to come00:00
Guantanamo Britons' lawyers face American gagging order00:00
Mark Seddon: How the Dixie Chicks could save democracy00:00
Crêpes, cider and a touch of Cornish crÿme00:00
Kate Simon: Woman About World00:00
Moving stories00:00
For sale: a trip on Onassis's yacht - for £1m00:00
Takeover fever uncorked as Californian vineyard plans shareholder shake-up00:00
Anelka dazzles Charlton00:00
The Blackpool Highflyer by Andrew Martin00:00
It's time we raised our own interest on finance deals00:00
Bellamy fired by the Greeks' Euro example00:00
Mrs A could mean far more to London than Mrs B00:00
Film Studies: That old familiar numbness. It all began in the summer of '5400:00
Curtain up!00:00
Langer faces selection headache as Cup hopefuls prosper00:00
Friedel reward stolen by the hand of Saha00:00
Gay rights activists get the plug pulled on 'homophobic' artists00:00
£20m deal for firm that does chicken feed00:00
Parents of British victim attack 'cruel and insensitive' TV drama about 9/11 hijackers00:00
Lethal Lewis sends the finale west00:00
Clubs and country benefit from new start00:00
Petrov primed to move out of Larsson's shadow00:00
Out of South Africa, a new-look Northampton00:00
Bradley Wiggins: The one-track mind which brought home three medals00:00
Ronan Bennett: Rebel rouser00:00
V bad news for the Bridget Jones generation: staying single is worse for you than smoking00:00
How new Africa made fools of the white mischief-makers00:00
Chechen bombed Russian jet 'in revenge for brother's death'00:00
Pelléas et Mélisande, Festival Theatre<br></br>Bejun Mehta/Kevin Murphy, Queen's Hall<br></br>Capriccio, Usher Hall<br></br>Simon Keenlyside/Malcolm Martineau, Usher Hall, Edinburgh00:00
Out of order00:00
Fishing lines: Never carry a torch for the Brownies00:00
Devastating Arsenal keep guns blazing00:00
Thousands in pension limbo after Revenue flunks maths00:00
Anything you can do: El Guerrouj gets in on act00:00
'What's the point of owning a paper and not interfering?'00:00
Phil Shiner: We Brits play by the rules. What rules would they be?00:00
Petersham Nurseries Café, Petersham, Surrey00:00
Horatio Nelson's lost love letters are unearthed00:00
Voices fail among call-centre workers00:00
Russia sees $12bn drain on capital in the pipeline00:00
Justin Cartwright: Cecil Rhodes, now in a Jermyn Street blazer, lives on00:00
The great escape: 10 best bargain breaks00:00
The more we grow, the less able we are to feed ourselves00:00
How new Africa made fools of the white mischief-makers00:00
Death by hot-tub (or why cottaging in Canada is bad for your health)00:00
Olympic gains00:00
The Motorcycle Diaries (15)00:00
Radcliffe's real test goes far beyond the pain00:00
'Spy in the sky' tracks persistent offenders00:00
Hamish McRae: The Ivy League it's not, but Cambridge spies a chance to secure the glittering prizes00:00
Note to subs: please insert headline here...00:00
Thames sewage threat to 2012 bid00:00
More immigrant children being locked up00:00
Tevez's golden boot inspires Argentina00:00
Qualified for entrepreneurial success00:00
Peter Cole: Nothing Piers Morgan has to say can be worth £1.2m00:00
Dravid ready for an Indian autumn00:00
Popovic's ill fortune tough on Palace00:00
Angel pushes Robson towards the precipice00:00
Night of the ideal Holmes exhibition00:00
David Michels: It's the morning after the night before, but Hilton's boss is on a winning streak00:00
'She won't give up on him as long as she draws breath'00:00
Part-time relief for those growing pains00:00
Into Africa, out of season00:00
Amir urged to cash in on his talent00:00
Powell calls off Athens visit after protests00:00
Hinshelwood gives Worcester real hope00:00
Business View: Small mortgage lenders face game of trick or treat00:00
Financial skills shortage boosts middle managers' pay packets00:00
Allawi lets US forces stay in Najaf until Iraqis take control00:00
Nowland fires up West Ham00:00
Pedersen profits from big Sam's science school00:00
Niall Ferguson: All responsible Republicans should vote for John Kerry00:00
Dyke unleashes 'avenging fury' on Blair Hutton, Campbell and the BBC governors00:00
Expert View: On planet investor, hedge funds are 'going to the moon'00:00
Tools of the Trade: The 3G phone from LG00:00
Gilligan accuses BBC of going soft on Blair00:00
Heads to roll for BA cancellations00:00
It's prawn free as Signet turns into a swan00:00
'It's part of the culture' is no excuse00:00
Paradise by A L Kennedy00:00
Down and Dirty Pictures by Peter Biskind00:00
Kirkham facing failure in his bid to rearrange the furniture at DFS00:00
Roger Trapp: A Berry good idea that could be tastier00:00
The Archer connection00:00
Peter Corrigan: The ideal home00:00
Pope returns revered icon to Russia00:00
Leon lifts the gloom in Wayne's old world00:00
The French Connection00:00
Nuclear power is cheapest option00:00
The hungry are waiting00:00
Wealth Check: 'What should I do with my endowment home loan?'00:00
James Lawton: For Holmes, a place among the Olympic greats. For Radcliffe, an early flight home00:00
O'Donnell volley holds up Hearts00:00
Kelly a legend twice over00:00
Wynne battles through injury to match Sydney medal haul00:00
Solanki starts to graft steel on to the sublime00:00
Defoe's display of control keeps greater goals in sight00:00
Pentagon official investigated for leaking classified material on US policy to Israel00:00
Pharmaceutical firms move to pre-empt political pasting00:00
Trulli wins a lottery, rivals lose their grip00:00
The week ahead: Why the Square Mile will need some bar-room philosophers00:00
Maturing Joe out to show Sven he can be trusted00:00
Green Man Festival: Folkies in a big tent. Now that's a festival!00:00
Peters prompts vital win00:00
Collecting: Putting it philately, the price of old stamps is travelling00:00
Campbell's taunt to Jackson and critics: 'I've got a gold'00:00
A fair-minded decision00:00
Stand up if you hate Man U's mini cash ISA00:00
Robbie's red-top revenge. Or how a star got his own back on the paparazzi00:00
Edinburgh Film Festival: Laugh? I nearly choked on my crushed-glass yogurt00:00
The Best Of Mykonos00:00
Tourists return to Kashmir, but India's jewel lacks its old sparkle00:00
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross00:00
British sprinters earn chance of an upbeat finish00:00
Get an early start to ease the fees00:00
Jackson visits Sudan to urge end of crisis00:00
Benaud's all-time team opens up a can of worms, but imagine watching them play00:00
'Time is right' for Rooney's imminent move00:00
Bnei Sakhnin ready to humble Newcastle00:00
Uefa 'keeping an eye on' Abramovich's interests00:00
Paphitis hopeful despite tough European draw00:00
Events Planner: Religious festivals00:00
The £100m question: is the world's hippest hotelier checking out of London?00:00
Independent sector out-performed by top grammar school00:00
Howard's son in election spamming row00:00
Chechnya tells police to shoot people in balaclavas00:00
Bank holiday starts with heavy rain and massive traffic jams00:00
Che Guevara: When the reality becomes myth00:00
PsychoGeography #48: Springtime for Hitler00:00
Hamster-fur coats on sale again in Scotland00:00
Greenspan blows a 'Jackson Hole' in candidates' election promises00:00
Poulter renews Ryder Cup claims00:00
O'Neill has no illusions about Old Firm task00:00
'I don't expect my opponents to relax'00:00
Preserved watermelon00:00
Erica Jong: Love bites00:00
We should support African states by refusing to countenance mercenaries00:00
Evie Wynn Johnson00:00
Yobo finds a welcoming port amid the storms at Goodison00:00
Housing market shake-up on the way00:00
The camp response is always tougher than its enemies suppose00:00
Something For The Weekend?00:00
24-Hour Room Service: The Residence, Mauritius00:00
Anthony Sampson: These were not romantic buccaneers, but the lawless heirs of the apartheid years00:00
Traoré set for Everton move00:00
Nouveau riches00:00
Tories ask questions as 'Victor Meldrew' strategy fails in polls00:00
Final curtain for Llewelyn-Bowen and 'Changing Rooms'00:00
Patrick Cockburn: This is good news for Iraq - but Allawi and US have been weakened00:00
Something To Declare: save on the trains; high prices in Malta; Quebec City00:00
Reading Festival00:00
Streak and Frost are too cool for Sussex00:00
Adrian Chiles: All your life condensed into one unforgettable moment00:00
Harland salvages medal from wreckage00:00
The Great War, coup attempt and others00:00
Joseph Yobo: Yobo finds a welcoming port amid the storms at Goodison00:00
David Beckham: 'I love Madrid, it's such a great city. It's just perfect, isn't it?'00:00
GUS edges closer to break-up with float of South Africa arm00:00
Assault on the ice mountain00:00
Driver gets four years for killing child00:00
Celebrity square meals #44: 'Turkish Delight Martini' by Maria Grachvogel, fashion designer00:00
Relegation fight takes Endacott back to Wigan00:00
Pentagon aide 'spied for Israel'00:00
Private Investor: Why shareholders should sit pretty on their DFS shares00:00
Weightlifter and runner fail tests00:00
Jeremy Warner's Outlook: Even house price bubble can't harm Blair now00:00
<preform>Food & Drink notes</preform>00:00
Lee admits Britain had not prepared for penalties00:00
Ex-SAS man linked to coup plot is guilty of illegal arms deal00:00
Radcliffe must be left alone to deal with this latest defeat of the spirit00:00
US fury at call to return medal00:00
Take the heat off your energy bills00:00
'Neglected' black artist recognised at last00:00
Equatorial Guinea demands interview with Mark Thatcher00:00
Ripe and ready00:00
Five Best: Floating hotels00:00
The Complete Guide To Round-The-World Flights00:00
Watermelon and feta salad00:00
David Conn: Liverpool say no to Morgan again00:00
Holmes prepares to enter a rarefied realm00:00
France to relax terminal illness law00:00
Racing: Brunel to end drought for Holland00:00
Jackson's Way, The Underbelly, Edinburgh00:00
News: mixed news for start-ups; Croatia calls time on drinkers00:00
Who wants to be a property millionaire?00:00
Playing with fire: Bush clashes with New York's finest00:00
WH Smith share scheme could net Swann £4m00:00
Give children a sporting chance00:00
Iced melon soup00:00
Channel 4 looking to add radio station to portfolio00:00
Fischer still in golden form after 24 years00:00
Market Report: Talk of disposals powers up National Grid00:00
Television leads society astray, says Humphrys00:00
Leeds underline gulf in class with record win00:00
Secrets of Success: Divide and conquer: the optimal portfolio00:00
Musharraf's choice elected as new PM00:00
Shareholders set to clean up venture capital trusts00:00
Sir Robin Saxby, Chairman of Arm Holdings: The teenage TV repairman who moved on to £500m takeovers00:00
Radcliffe unable to finish race once again00:00
Davidson on tail of pacesetter Button00:00
Versace appoints an outsider to lead revival00:00
Questions of Cash: 'Was I a winner while my bonds were stolen?'00:00
Act of war: Robbins's anti-Bush satire takes to the stage in London00:00
Cuba breaks Panama links over death plot00:00
Land of the Byzantines00:00
Khan stages third-round comeback to land dream shot at Olympic gold00:00
Clarke puts new curbs on sale of playing fields00:00
The Week in Politics: Tax, the three-letter word Labour dare not speak00:00
The Independent Parent: We're after a family villa in Fiji close to local life. Any ideas?00:00
Over the sea to Skye00:00
Roy McFarland: McFarland and Todd relishing a Rams reunion00:00
Psychological pressure will prove sharp for Sharapova00:00
Clubbers at risk from lethal but legal drug00:00
Jones falls flat at Russia's party00:00
Police set up safe areas to avert crush risk at Notting Hill Carnival00:00
Raj Persaud: Being clever is pointless if you don't want to learn00:00
Asylum-seeker sent to India despite ruling00:00
It's never too late to chill out00:00
Dairy Crest shares crash as Tesco switches milk contract00:00
Polluters targeted by court dedicated to environmental cases00:00
Love match keeps Agassi playing to win00:00
Paula had to race to kick-start the healing process00:00
Public spending growth is fastest since Wilson era00:00
My Life In Travel: Michel Roux00:00
Rain 'worse for farms than foot-and-mouth'00:00
Probation for man who slapped Schröder00:00
Company Spotlight: What nCipher can do for you, the investor00:00
Italian war crime trial points to 'new Odessa'00:00
Fighter felled by kick to head taken to hospital00:00
Let's blame the silly season for bringing out the malice in us all00:00
Simon Calder: The Man Who Pays His Way00:00
Abortion rate hits record with 180,000 terminations last year00:00
James Daley: The men from the Prudential should learn to live in the present00:00
Authors in pursuit of trivia find their place on best-seller list00:00
48 Hours In Vancouver00:00
North-east assembly may be last all-postal ballot00:00
Barça in bullish mood after upstaging Real during summer00:00
T&N rejects Icahn's £71m cash offer00:00
C4 merger rumours rife as RTL chief misses festival00:00
Wealth Check: 'All my spare cash goes on shopping. I can never say no'00:00
Wreckage of Russian jet 'has traces of explosives'00:00
Faith & Reason: The promised land which the Pope may not enter00:00
A-levels: Top 50 independent schools00:00
Jury lines up for Kobe Bryant rape trial00:00
High streets suffocate in 'Clone Britannia'00:00
An uneasy peace reigns. Now Iraqis count the cost00:00
Queen of Sydney falls flat at Russia's party00:00
McClements, Twickenham, Middlesex00:00
No let up for battling Brown00:00
The Week In Review: Office heartland heating up00:00
Made over00:00
Holmes makes history with golden double00:00
Scotland to get £24m wind farm project00:00
The Week in Arts: The delights of a musical journey from A to B00:00
Bush admits he may have misjudged post-war state of Iraq00:00
Spearman prepares to steal Hick thunder00:00
£450m a year lost in payments to dead pensioners00:00
Rumours of systematic drug use cast shadow over Olympic climax00:00
Melons with ham00:00
Nuclear power: time for a rethink? Â00:00
Cellar notes #48: Germany's finest year?