Should it matter how much your date earns?

According to relationship counsellors Relate, money worries are the single biggest strain on any couple. So why does money rarely get a mention on TV dating shows like E4’s Married at First Sight?

“MAFS”, as it’s colloquially known, sees two strangers (paired by the show’s three matchmaking experts), meeting for the first time at the altar and ready to say “I do”. They then set up home together and, with the guidance of those matchmaking experts, they are set tasks to help them develop emotional and physical intimacy.

While it bills itself as a social experiment, MAFS is in fact classic reality TV, with all the drama you’d expect – heated rows, plenty of tears and dramatic exits.

However, at its heart, it’s a show about people looking for love. And we can all relate to that, right? Meeting someone, getting to know them and deciding whether to forge a path together.

Yet, so far during this series – and for all the last series – money talk hasn’t been on the agenda.

But if you don’t know whether your other half is more of a spender or a saver, or whether their outlook is more “yours and mine” as opposed to “ours”, then you’re building a relationship on rocky ground.

Money affects all stages of romantic relationships. From who picks up the bill on the first few dates to how to split household bills when you live together, to starting a family and navigating the costs involved.

Yes, talking money is awkward. But not talking money can lead to financial resentment, and that’s not conducive to a happy, healthy relationship.

Communication is key, says financial coach and MAFS fan Sara Jane Maxwell, who runs a group-coaching programme called Couples Talk Money.

“It’s fascinating that, on the show, couples talk openly about sex, but not money,” says Sara Jane.

“But it’s important to reflect on your communication style and understand your partner’s communication style too.

“For example, if we were talking money and there was something I wasn’t clear on, I might say: ‘Talia, could you help me understand that, as I’m not understanding what you mean.’

“Whereas if I had said, ‘Talia, why did you do that?’, you’re immediately thinking ‘What have I done wrong?’ and that could lead to you getting defensive or shutting down.

“Learning more about yourself and how best to interact with each other is important in any relationship. Then people feel more able to share.”

Money did come up on the recent series of the Netflix dating show Love is Blind UK. And it led to a whole lot of drama.

Participants Freddie and Catherine’s relationship stalled after he asked her to sign a prenup. Tom and Maria called it quits after realising they had differing financial expectations, particularly when it came to raising a family.

Family finance expert and founder of Hoops Finance, Funmi Olufunwa, says: “I watched Love is Blind UK and it showed why it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page with money.

“As a couple, it’s important to decide how you manage your money together today while also being aware that this will change as your lives change.

“For example, if one of you takes time out of work to study or have children, that partner isn’t going to be able to contribute financially in the same way as before.

“But financial contribution isn’t the only form of contribution. It’s important for both of you to recognise that, for this period of time, you’re simply contributing in a different way, such as caring responsibilities if you’re having a family.

“On MAFS, I’d like to see a task such as each couple having a budget to manage and seeing how they navigate this sometimes tricky money conversation.

“I said this on Instagram last year and Paul Brunson, one of the show’s matchmaking experts, replied and said it’s a brilliant idea! He said they’d discussed money management in a previous series but it didn’t make the edit.”

MAFS is on air for a few weeks yet – so maybe this will be the series where money talk makes it on screen.

If you find it difficult to talk money with your partner without falling out, try this test. Both write down your answers to the following questions, and then discuss your answers together.

● What’s your earliest memory of money?

● What did you learn about money from your parents/guardians?

● What does money mean to you now?

● How do you feel when you think about money?

● How much time do you spend on your finances in a typical month?

It’s also a good idea to schedule regular money “dates” – a scheduled time to check in on your finances as a couple, and to discuss goals – rather than bring things up on the hoof. When your partner has just woken up or has just got home from work probably isn’t the best time to talk about the overdraft.

But deciding on your financial goals as a couple – whether that’s buying a home, travelling the world or starting a family – will also strengthen your relationship. Which is something priceless that money can’t buy.

Talia Loderick is a money coach (talialoderick.co.uk)