The row between Britain and Ireland over Rwanda is bordering on farce

Were there not so many traumatic experiences involved, the row between the British and Irish governments about asylum seekers would have a comically farcical aspect to it.

Apparently, some of those seeking asylum are now so terrified about the prospect of being bundled on a plane to Rwanda with their pleas for mercy not even heard that they’ve moved to Ireland. I didn’t mean that to sound unkind to Ireland, by the way; but it’s merely the latest indicator that the Rwanda plan is far from the answer to the migration crisis that it’s claimed to be.

In any case, the Irish aren’t happy about it. How many are involved and how true this version of the story actually is hasn’t properly been verified; but it is sufficiently accurate to have made the Irish prime minister propose making laws to stop it and threaten to send these unfortunate people back to the UK.

Leaving aside the point that laws don’t necessarily alter reality, the British government say they won’t accept them. One wonders what will happen when, say, a group of assorted Iranians, Afghans and Pakistanis are left by the Irish Garda at the border with Northern Ireland, only to be eventually detained by the police service of Northern Ireland and taken back to the border.

These poor people seem condemned to haunt the border villages of Fermanagh, Tyrone and the other lovely emerald green counties of Ulster like bewildered ghosts – unwanted humanity we’d rather not have troubling our consciences on the way to mass or chapel. It’s a shameful, unsustainable situation – and one, not for the first time in Irish history, that has no obvious solution.

The long meandering border between the north and south of Ireland is 310 miles long. It was impossible to patrol even during the Troubles and – often unmarked and occasionally running through people’s farms – presents few natural barriers. The border is basically invisible and imprecise even to the locals, let alone someone fleeing Mogadishu.

During the 1970s, many of the little country lanes were blocked off to traffic to frustrate the IRA, but you could still move around on foot. The ugly old concrete blocks have long gone thanks to the peace process.

The Belfast Good Friday Agreement and the Brexit treaty also guaranteed that there’d be no physical border infrastructure anywhere, not even customs posts. The Common Travel Area, established after most of Ireland became independent in 1922, preserved the free movement of people to live and work across these islands – and was maintained post-Brexit.

Unless you’re flying, for reasons of security, you don’t need a passport (or even a driving licence) to cross the border between north and south of Ireland. It would be impractical to try and create such a system (as well as a breach of the Belfast Good Friday Agreement).

So even if the Irish authorities pass a law to rescind their moral and international obligations to offer genuine asylum seekers shelter, they probably wouldn’t be able to deposit them at the border in Northern Ireland and never see them again; and the same would be true if they put them on a plane to Heathrow or a ferry to Holyhead.

Besides, what happens if the British authorities, equally happy to ignore the European Convention on Human Rights and various UN treaties, just say that they don’t want them either?

Are these unfortunates supposed to spend the rest of their lives on the Aer Lingus shuttle from Dublin to Belfast? And how does anyone involved really know if the Eritrean person in front of them in Ireland arrived direct from Europe or via the UK and a small boat crossing? We shouldn’t play ping pong with people’s lives.

It mirrors all the arguments the British have with the French about controlling the people trafficked across the English Channel. Before long, we will no doubt have an example.

So many people in Britain, including the charlatans running Reform UK, cannot see that the British cannot simply take refugees back to the French coast, because we would be violating French sovereignty, endangering lives and making a huge political mistake in terms of making Brexit work. The same argument applies to those in France who’d try and send the migrants back to Italy; and the Italians, Greeks and Maltese who have nowhere to put them while they are processed.

Of course, this present evolution of the migrant crisis raises some difficult questions about the Rwanda plan. If it is true that asylum seekers, or some of them, are trying to evade deportation by trying to claim refuge in Ireland, then they may well also try and evade deportation by simply slipping underground and “disappearing” into a criminalised grey world of illegal working and unlawful overcrowded accommodation.

Those coming to Britain for the first time may in the near future be deterred from formally claiming asylum and giving themselves up to Border Force – but that wouldn’t stop them wanting to live in Britain, and would merely increase the number of entirely clandestine crossings onto the beaches of southern England.

Or, they could just overstay their visas. Besides, the risk of ever being deported to Rwanda anyway is so small that very many will remain undeterred and still take their chances on a midnight voyage across the English Channel. If they’re ready to risk their lives, they’ll risk Rwanda.

If there is one lesson that should have long ago been drawn from the failure to end the migrant crisis it is that it requires some measures on a European if not a global level. The European nations should decide whether they want to offer asylum at all; and if so how to share the responsibility and the numbers, and establish safe and secure procedures for processing and returns. We might also welcome people who can help Europe solve its acute demographic and economic challenges.

We could think again about these people, not as “invaders” but willing to come and work and be useful members of society. Some are fleeing torture and threat of murder; others just hope for a better life. Either way, we might recall how past waves of migration have helped build European nations before – and could do so again.

You wouldn’t think from all the xenophobia and the current refugee hysteria that Europe is not in fact “full”, and actually has a terrible shortage of labour; and is actively trying to get rid of people who want to do the jobs we don’t want.

Instead, we just attempt to pass these people around and around without making the issue ever go away; and spend millions (each!) on a bizarre scheme to send them to Rwanda. Whatever else, we should know that that won’t work for anyone.