The perfect birthday gift we’ve all forgotten about

A friend recently celebrated her birthday. As we toasted her turning fortysomething, she was sad about the notable drop in the number of birthday cards she’d received this year. I understand why.

Love is a verb. And a verb is an action word. If you’ve taken the time to buy a card, write a personal message, buy a stamp and post said card well, that’s love in action.

“Is it the busy-fication of our lives?” she asked me. “Where there’s too much to do and not enough time, so buying and posting a birthday card simply doesn’t make the cut?”

My interest was piqued, so I conducted a really robust research exercise – aka a straw poll of people in my co-working space.

Two-thirds of them said they no longer send birthday cards. They may give a card to a loved one they’re likely to see on or close to the big day, but they don’t post cards to friends and family further afield.

It’s a shame, too, because in a world of rising prices and too much stuff, birthday cards make a great gift. Because the card is the gift.

We can spend a lot of time trying to come up with extravagant presents to buy for loved ones, but with budgets having to stretch further due to the rising cost of living, you can buy a decent birthday card for less than a fiver. That’s a bargain. Even with first-class stamps now a pricey £1.35, you could buy both card and stamp and still come away with change from a fiver.

Plus, how much you spend on gifts for someone isn’t an indication of how much you love them. Let’s avoid the trap of equating the cost or size of gifts with love. There are many ways to express love and care. For me, birthday cards are an inexpensive expression of love.

And while it takes a bit of time to buy and send one, it doesn’t have to be time-consuming. If you don’t enjoy selecting the perfect card at the shops (I do) and queuing up at the post office (I don’t), you can use online greetings card providers like Moonpig and Funky Pigeon.

A little thought goes a long way. Thank you, friend who took time out from her round-the-world trip to post me a Christmas card from Australia and a birthday card from Peru. If friendship was a competition, she’d win (not that I rank my friends by who sends me cards…).

Also, if you play your cards right (see what I did there?!) you can even support a small business with your card buying. For many artists, illustrators, designers and independent creatives, greeting cards are an important product.

If you have a high street where you can buy your cards from independent creatives in person – great! But if not, or if you prefer to shop online, then online marketplaces like Thortful, Jamii and Etsy are your friend. That way, not only do you get to be a good friend, but you can also be smug in the knowledge that your pounds are supporting the small business ecosystem.

Also, it’s not like any of us need more stuff in our lives! I recently moved house and would have said I don’t own a lot of things, but one removal van and two car journeys later, it turns out that isn’t the case at all. Cards don’t take up much room, and best of all, they can be recycled. It’s a win-win.

That being said, I must admit I am a card keeper. As a sentimental person, I do have a keepsake box full of my favourite cards I’ve received over the years.

It includes almost every birthday card from my mum since I turned 18, a card from a friend with a handwritten quote from a Mary Oliver poem – “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – and Christmas cards from my now-deceased, much-missed grandad. It’s a box full of fond memories.

That’s the great thing about cards. They’re more permanent than a WhatsApp message, a text, or an Instagram Stories post which disappears in 24 hours (though I do love a birthday-themed Instagram Stories post full of pics that would never see the light of day otherwise).

September is the month with the most birthdays, according to the Office for National Statistics. That means statistically you probably know somebody whose day you can brighten up with a keepsake they can hold on to forever, which won’t clutter up their already full homes, and which shows you really care – all for less than a fiver.

Talia Loderick is a money coach who helps people to understand and take control of their finances. Her website can be found here