‘My best meal of the year was at a friend’s house’: How the TikTok crowd made dinner parties hot again

We haven’t heard the phrase “unprecedented times” for a while. Remember when we were all stuck inside, denied a walk, a trip to the supermarket and dining out? At first, we were struck by cabin fever, clawing at the walls, desperate to get out. Then we slowly warmed up to the idea that staying in is actually cool; that dining in could be just as good, if not better, than dining out.

We got back into cooking. We tried new recipes, made an occasion out of dinnertime to relieve the ennui, and ordered recipe kits from the restaurants we missed the most or had yet to try. Dinners became dinner parties. Please arrive in the dining room by 7pm. The theme: Covid-19 chic. There will be canapes.

Post-pandemic, upon release we were hurled into the Eat Out To Help Out scheme. The prospect of relishing a meal cooked by someone else, and swerving the washing up, seemed new and fun again. But, after the initial euphoria, we soon realised (or rather, remembered) that dining out is quite a pricey affair.

According to journalist Katherine Ormerod, who’s one of millions that have been sharing their lavish dinner party and tablescaping tips on TikTok and Instagram, “the cost of living has become extremely prohibitive, and if you have a larger party, it’s almost impossible to get a reservation without months of notice”. I can attest to this, having just held my 30th birthday party in London. Bombarded with restrictive set menus full of dishes I didn’t actually want to eat, extortionate minimum spends and hire fees, it’s almost like they’d rather we didn’t go out.

With Waitrose’s annual cooking report revealing that a quarter of people prefer to stay home and cook at least five days a week, and the likes of Brooklyn Beckham and Welsh restaurant Ynyshir recently releasing lavish menus on Uber Eats to be delivered, cooked and enjoyed from the comfort of our own homes, I wonder: have we come full circle?

The dinner party has become the place to be – albeit on our own terms this time. Just a quick scroll on your TikTok or Instagram feed will prove it. Your favourite influencers, food writers, cookbook authors and celebrities are all doing it. Instead of sharing their “outfit of the day” – or OOTD to use the correct lingo – they’re documenting their supermarket hauls, hours of prep, go-to recipes, favourite tableware and perfect playlists for seamless ambience. Not to mention the main event itself, capturing the food, posing in their dinner party fits and tagging their friends. And, in these new unprecedented times, it makes sense. It’s a more affordable way to eat, features zero queues or reservations and, for the aesthetically obsessed among us, you can still post (and boast) about it on social media.

TikToker Mya Hansel is a fashion blogger turned food influencer, now using the video sharing platform to share dinner party inspiration with her near 90K followers. From plating guides to playlist recommendations, it’s easy to see why her content has taken off, as it merges the informative, storytelling aspect with the aspirational escapism for which we all use social media. When it comes to the term “dinner parties”, what TikTok and its creators have done is given it a modern touch and rebranded this traditional convention as something cool and approachable to all. You no longer need a big house with a kitted out kitchen and a dining room with space for 10 people; search on social media and there’s sure to be an influencer showing you how to host in your home, whatever its size.

At the end of 2023, I was invited to a friend’s dinner party. Working in social media and food writing, this wasn’t particularly unusual, but it’s not every day that I’m invited over for an eight-course dinner with global wine pairings to boot.

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I found myself comparing it to meals I’d eaten in restaurants throughout the year. I have to say: it was by far one of the best and most memorable. Good company aside, it was the effort, creativity and passion that had been plugged into the meal that made it so enjoyable. I’d have happily paid full whack if it had been in a restaurant.

The rising trend of the dinner party has us swapping restaurant QR codes for handwritten menu cards. This isn’t pasta bake and supermarket wine, feet up on the sofa with a rom com on, though… no, no. This is as fine as dining can get, and it’s only been amplified by social media. What may look like a simple gathering of friends is actually a clever marketing ploy from influencers and brands alike to appear more authentic.

Creator, recipe developer and author Verna Gao says that she has definitely seen an increase in brands reaching out to work together on collaborative content based around dinner parties. She says “more brands are happy to explore dinner party settings instead of a standalone recipe when it comes to content creation” and that they “see it to be more authentic and more fun as a ‘day in the life’ kind of concept”. It certainly brings a new meaning to the term “Girl Dinner”.

Also borne of the pandemic, recipe videos going viral have given even further rise to the home chef, with 22 per cent of the Waitrose study participants saying they get their cooking inspiration from platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Some are even turning to ChatGPT.

If you’re not confident in the kitchen, you needn’t worry about feeling left out. Do as 15 per cent of the participants do and feed your friends with a takeaway. A Deliveroo Dinner Party, if you will. Restaurants are tapping into the trend, too. Gareth Ward, the chef behind world-famous Welsh restaurant Ynyshir, recently curated a limited edition £200 tasting menu that was available via Uber Eats during December. The 10-course menu featured indulgent dishes such as BBQ lobster claw and rib-eye steak, with an optional wine pairing for an extra £50. If that didn’t tickle your fancy, you could try Brooklyn Beckham’s “ultimate takeaway menu” with “contemporary” dishes like chicken tikka masala and bolognese for around £15 a dish. (Don’t worry, he’s not actually cooking them.)

Three years out of lockdown, “finish at home” meal boxes from restaurants like Cote, Hawksmoor and Dishoom and top chefs like Tom Kerridge and Tommy Banks are clearly still enjoying a moment, whether that’s down to the cost of living crisis or home cooks still wanting to treat themselves to restaurant-quality food. They offered restaurants a lifeline during the pandemic, but have remained a lucrative avenue of profit, and make hosting a breeze.

Which begs the question: is it purely performative? Of course there is always a sense of that on social media, but Ormerod says she actually prefers the intimacy of at-home dining and that “whenever I’m asked to host events, I always suggest doing it at home – it makes sense for me as I put so much effort into the decorating and tablescaping ”.

Yhangry, an organisation that connects at-home diners with private chefs, is another option for anyone wishing to host a dinner party – without being responsible for the actual cooking. Hosts submit their requirements (dates, occasion, likes, dislikes, allergies, vibes) and chefs pitch their menus. Co-founder Heinin Zhang says that “a dinner party can have a thousand different faces – depending on the group, the type of food, and the music – and as a host you get to set the atmosphere.

“When it comes to food, some like a family-style feast with lots of big, beautiful sharing plates, others go for a fancy five-course tasting menu to celebrate.”

This was what Grace Thorley, who hired a private chef to cater for her and her friends, was aiming for. “When thinking about my hen do, I wanted something that felt special for myself and my hens – but without breaking the bank.

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“We had an amazing three-course meal that would have cost so much more if we were dining out, and our chef, Nadine, went out of her way to make the meal special for us, from filling up our drinks to cleaning everything up afterwards and leaving us leftovers.”

So, will dinner parties ever take over dining out?

While Gao finds the concept of hosting fun, she doesn’t think it will replace dining out entirely, as it’s still “a lot of effort” for whoever’s hosting – however, it is a great affordable alternative, particularly come wintertime when none of us wants to venture outside.

Food writer Bre Graham agrees: “I think it’s always a mix, there’s nothing better than going out for dinner to a restaurant you love, sitting at a table you haven’t set and eating food you haven’t had to cook… but cooking for the people you love at home is so special.”

“Restaurants are getting boring” is a phrase that’s thrown around a lot these days. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy eating out, but I’d struggle to name a restaurant I enjoyed more than the dinner party at the end of the year. If lockdown made chefs out of all of us (even me), then this new era made us all dinner party hosts. And we’re only getting better at it.

1. Go big or go home

While I do not even want to think of the effort my friend who served up the eight-course tasting menu to us all last year went through, I’m very much here for it. If you can’t actually commit to eight full courses, it’s okay to cheat – as long as you do so with flair. Make mini gazpachos, while adding the wow factor via an easy drizzle of labneh or sprinkle of croutons. Snack boards make for easy yet impressive canapes, with Waitrose revealing that one in 10 generally plated things up buffet or mezze-style for guests to pick at or serve themselves and that “people favour more buffet-style dishes and charcuterie boards, ditching formal plated starters for more casual breads and dips”.

2. TikTokers live by tablescaping – and you should, too

Decoration needn’t be a fancy affair but simple tablescaping can go a long way – and plating is key. Mya Hansel has her own playlist specifically geared towards helping you become a better host. From setting the table to deciding the decor, her guides are all curated as neat videos that you can watch and aspire to recreate within your own home. Olivia McDowell (@oliviaamcdowell) is another creator who constantly gets enquiries from her followers about tips on tablescaping and how to host a dinner party. It’s out with Martha Stewart and in with the clock app, for 2024.

3. A small budget isn’t a bad thing

The term “potluck” originated in the 1930s, during the Great Depression – so it seems only fitting that the concept is revived amid the current cost of living crisis. If you want to host a dinner party, finances shouldn’t be the reason you don’t. A great dinner party can be on the affordable level – as long as you specify what needs to be brought and for how many guests, the dinner party will run smoothly. Getting every guest to cook or bring a course can also add a source of entertainment and a topic of conversation. Sometimes people want to feel like they are contributing so bringing something such as a base or mixer for the welcome cocktail is an idea, too.

4. Air fryers are your ally

Anything slow-cooked and served at the table is going to make your night easier – and luckily our trusty culinary comrade (the air fryer) is on hand to help us. With air fryers cooking food quicker and more efficiently (who even uses their oven anymore?), many of them also feature a slow cooking function so you can serve up that succulent lamb shank or stew with minimal effort. People are here for the evening, as well as the food – so don’t spend too long in the kitchen and remember to chat to your guests.

5. Put on the dinner party of the year – with a private chef

If cooking an entire eight-course meal isn’t your forte (and you do have the cash to splash for a big occasion), why not hire a private chef? While you won’t be able to completely pull off a Mrs Doubtfire (remember Robin Williams plating up the fine dining takeaway, anyone?), your private chef will be on hand for the whole evening. This is a great way of gathering your friends for some good food and, quite frankly, is giving complete 2024 energy.