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The gloves are off as the two newcomers to the Love Island villa decide which of the ladies they will be stealing away from their partners. Dancer Curtis and boxer Tommy have a bit of a double act going. Curtis radiates top-level amiability whilst coming across slightly calculating in his heart-to-hearts with Tommy. And his new pal makes no secret of his attraction to Lucie, who is off enjoying cuddles and kisses with wavy-haired Joe.
This has left street food magnate Joe in a bit of a pickle as Tommy inevitably choses to couple up with Lucie. As the bombshell drops, poor Joe looks like a bacon sandwich a few days past its best-by date. But it also provides some actual drama at the end of an hour that finds the series still very much in its bedding-down phase.
Everyone loves Lucie
The surfing aficionado is clearly the popular girl in class. Last night, hairless bum advocate Anton tried to dump Amy for her. And poor Joe spent most of this episode completely besotted with his Cornish bestie. But it was all for nought as, utilising his “godlike powers” – so Curtis dubbed them – new boy Tommy picked her as his pretend significant other. As the producers no doubt intended, this has set the stage for some Tommy v Joe bad blood. But if the battle lines are drawn on which side will the rest of the contestants stand? It’s like Avengers: Civil War, only with tans and pecs instead of super-powers.
Is Curtis this year’s master manipulator?
It’s only a silly reality show and the professional dancer is no doubt a stand-up bloke in real life (also he’s actually vaguely famous as one of the pro hoofers on Ireland’s answer to Strictly…). But here Curtis comes across as a bit calculating. He’s been doing the rounds, chatting to Yewande (who seems sweet and, let’s be honest, too nice for an ITV2 reality bearpit). But he at the same time urges Tommy to get to Lucie by picking Amber (eh? says Tommy and everyone watching). And when it came to it Curtis himself goes for Amy rather than Yewande. What are you at, Curtis?
Is this the year of the wallflowers?
Yewande, as we’ve stated, come across as far too normal to have signed up to eight weeks on an ITV surveillance island in the sun. Ditto Callum, a regular chap who has been paired off with the slightly-demanding Amber. She just isn’t into this at all and made no secret how dreary she found Callum when chatting to the other ladies. Also fading into the background are heavily-tabooed-but-basically-okay Michael and pharmacist Anna. Presumably, they will eventually emerge from their shells. However, for the second night they shuffle in the background while the real drama revolved around the Joe-Lucie-Tommy love triangle and Curtis’s Mr Popular routine.
Where are the sparks?
We have our first sleepover and the inaugural slap-and-tickle type contest. The former is a non-event while the flirty game show, in which contestants have to work out which of the girls and boys have admitted to doing something naughty, feels screamingly ho-hum. Story-wise the real significance of the event is that it coughs up the first Joe-Lucie kiss. They are at it again later – only for Tommy to stomp in and claim Lucie as his. That chiming sound isn't the News at Ten bells ringing out – it's Joe's heart splintering into a zillion pieces.
Read our live blog for all the updates on the first episode as it happened.
Love Island airs every weekday and Sunday at 9pm on ITV2.
Bedtime! The freshly-paired couples are clambering into their Teletubby-hued cots. We've cut to grainy reality TV night vision – usually a signal something potentially icky is about to happen. So far tonight, though, the real charge is the mutual appreciation between Anton (owns a gym, mum waxes his bum) and Tommy (a boxer, brother to a more famous boxer).
The real tension tonight of course revolves around Tommy and Curtis, who each pick a partner at the end of the episode. Which will leave two jilted Joes. Who's for the heave?
Speaking of Joes... well here's Sandwich Merchant Joe – confessing to being head-over -heels for Lucie. But is the feeling reciprocated? "The more I get to know him – he gets hotter," says Lucie, who has stopped using made-up words such as "Bev". Thank you Lucie, thank you.
But...hey... watch out Joe...! Boxer Tommy is having sneaky chats with Curtis about Lucie. "Tonight there's going to be a few heartbreaks." It looks like Joe is in for a sidewinder straight to the heart (sorry, we tried to think of a sandwich metaphor but it's late and, in further bad new for Joe, there isn't much interesting about sandwiches).
Also on a potentially downward trajectory is Callum whose mission to bore Amber senseless is going down a treat. That is what he is trying to do, isn't it?
Over on the blinding white-couch, Amy is sharing a heartwarming story about having her appendix removed. Curtis gazes at her, half-besotted, half-confused as to what an "appendix" is exactly. "Right now me and Tommy are the gods of the villa," he says (to camera – not to Amy). This sounds slightly more sinister than he presumably intended.
They're playing the Stone Roses now. It was Billie Eilish last night. At least they've put some thought into the tunes
By the pool Lucie is "well relaxed" with Captain Sandwich Joe (sorry thus far the portable snack angle is the most memorable thing about him). Meanwhile back at Camp Tommy and Curtis, the plot thickens. Curtis has this weird idea that if Tommy wants to end up with Lucie he should pair off with Amber. Tommy smiles politely. He has NO IDEA what Curtis is banging on about. "Amber is a bit of a diva...I like challenges," says Tommy. It's clear Tommy does not like challenges.
It's game time! The rules make no sense but the boys and girls are lined up opposite one another and there will be snogging. That's probably all that matters.
Lucie and Joe have kissed as a part of their challenge. Aaaah...that will be so bittersweet when Tommy sweeps in to take her away. Now Callum is throwing himself down a a slide but guesses wrong – hang on, I'll get to the rules in a moment – so...no snogs for him.
Tommy throws himself down the slide. He must decide which of the girls has seen over 100 musicals. It's Amy, which he guesses correctly and they place their lips in close proximity. What's the opposite of chemistry? Because that's what crackles between them. It's the girls' turn next to play kiss and guess next – that's what the game is right? – and we learn that Michael has had more than one threesome and that Joe enjoys rapping in his spare time.
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