Why student politics often bears little relation to the real world it's supposedly modelled on

Back in her Wellesley College days, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (then Rodham) was president of her branch of the Young Republicans. At a similar age, self-described One Nation Tory Jeremy Paxman described himself as a socialist and when Tony Blair stood in his school’s mock election it was as a Tory. Clearly, the world of student politics often bears little relation to the real world it’s supposedly modelled on.

No such context has been applied in the case of Bahar Mustafa, Goldsmiths’ student union welfare and diversity officer. Several national newspapers have reported on the outrage she apparently caused at the University of London by “banning” (read, politely discouraging) men and white people from attending an event specifically aimed at black, Asian and ethnic minority women.

Upon closer reading, however, this “ban” involved little more than an informal Facebook post in which Mustafa explained that while she had “invited a bunch of people” online she hoped they would “be responsible enough to respect this is a BME [black and minority ethnic] women and non-binary event only”, before adding, “Don’t worry lads we will give you and allies things to do,” and a winky face emoji.

Mustafa’s main mistake was to take as read the notion that promoting equality sometimes involves providing spaces where minority groups can talk together, without being drowned out by the same voices that dominate every other discussion. If she goes on to have a career in politics she’ll do so with the knowledge that using winky-face emoticons can leave one’s intentions open to wilful misconstrual. Lesson learned. Until then, take comfort, Ms Mustafa, in the fact that Goldsmiths isn’t the first university to make the papers with a similar non-scandal. Other things student unions have recently “banned” include the pop song “Blurred Lines”, Ukip, copies of Charlie Hebdo, and “strawpedoing” (that is, downing an alcoholic drink through a straw). All were covered extensively in the national press.

Why do the grown-ups care? Not because over-enthusiastic student unions represent a genuine threat to the status quo. If only. And not because undergrads can give an accurate temperature reading for the nation as a whole. As Hillz, Jez and Tony know, student politics is a bubble that’s idealistic, progressive, frivolous and flexible in a way that wizened Westminster can never hope to be.

No, the real reason why national papers are apparently so interested in union squabbles is less to do with barmy student politicians and more to do with ambitious student journalists. Eager to get a leg up in their careers, they can be a fruitful source of stories on a slow day. Don’t judge. We all have some regrets from our youth.

A cultural clanger

Nine Native American actors last week walked off the set of Adam Sandler’s latest movie, a western spoof called The Ridiculous 6 in protest at the insulting depiction of Apache culture. As someone who recently sat through Sandler’s 2014 film Blended, in which the characters go on holiday to a country known only as “Africa”, I don’t wonder why.

Ex-cast member Allison Young says she and others approached the producers with their concerns, but were treated dismissively: “They just told us: ‘If you guys are so sensitive, you should leave’.”

Hollywood history of stereotyping native peoples is almost as lengthy as America’s history of persecuting them, so it isn’t oversensitive to expect stars such as Sandler to wield their cultural power with a bit of grace. Instead, the mean-spirited Hollywood humour – that he’s partially responsible for popularising – picks on groups without a platform to defend themselves.

Ridiculous, indeed.

We’re lovin’ it less

We should all be surviving on a ration of daily nutrition pills by now, but the future of food has not panned out as expected.

McDonald’s announced last week it was closing 350 restaurants worldwide. This is the same McDonald’s that once opened three branches a day. Also last week, Tesco reported record losses of £6.4bn. This is the same Tesco that became Britain’s largest food retailer and successfully homogenised our high streets. Both chains are still a long way from bankruptcy, but it does seem that somewhere en route to processed food hell we took an unexpected detour.

Online grocery shopping has successfully made fresh food almost as convenient as fast food, and certainly tastier. Plus, the time we save by no longer traipsing round the aisles is time we now spend pottering around the local butchers or gossiping with the greengrocer; figures show there was 30 per cent growth in independent food retailers in 2013. The future of food is starting to look a lot like the nostalgically remembered past – at least for those with the cash to take advantage.

So here’s the revised food forecast: in 20 years’ time, the wealthy will subsist entirely on Himalayan sea salt and other foodstuffs which can be “foraged” from independent delis. Meanwhile, on the outskirts of town, derelict Tesco superstores will have been converted into food banks.

Dead men’s leavings

You can tell a lot about a culture from the way it approaches death. In France, home of Chanel No 5 and Proust, a woman has come up with a way to bottle the scent of lost loved ones. In China, where authoritarian government struggles to restrain consumerist urges, they’re cracking down on strippers at funerals. So what does Britain’s own niche funeral business say about us?

A new company in north London is hoping to ease the burden on the bereaved by recognising that, in the aftermath of a loved one’s death, there are some things you just don’t want to have to think about. Like, for instance, how to dispose of granddad’s massive jazz mag collection.

“They call and say ‘my grandfather has just died, my dad’s just died, my uncle’s just died – and I’ve found all these old magazines’, explains Dave, founder of webuyanyporn.com, the first company in the world to specialise in discreetly disposing of dead people’s smutty stashes, guaranteeing minimal embarrassment to the living. It’s British industry at its finest.

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