What is it about 'No' you don't understand?

Miles Kington
Sunday 11 July 1993 18:02 EDT
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A HUNDRED ways in which the British express their desire to refuse a request.

Oh

Oh dear

Oh dear me

Oh dear, I'm sorry

Oh, dear, I'm so very sorry

How sad

What a pity

You see

You see, the thing is

Things being what they are

We're in a negative situation

So it's no go

No way

No can do

Out of the question

No chance

No

Sorry, but no

Fat chance

Sorry, love

Not right now

Any other time

Love to but . . .

Some other time

Must rush

We're right out

We're closing

We've closed

We've closed down

The editor regrets . . .

The management reserve the right . . .

It's more than my job's worth

The Queen has asked me to

convey . . .

If it were up to me

It's out of my hands

It's not my pigeon

Wrong number

Not known at this address

Gone away

Due to unforeseen unforeseen

circumstances

Due to inclement weather

Unfortunately

Alas

If wish were father to the deed . . .

Chance would be a fine thing

Would that it were so

Never in a thousand years

No, no, a thousand times no

Never]

I'd rather die than say yes

Give over

Forget it

No way, Jose

Not on your nelly

Hard cheese

Tough titty

Too bad

Drop dead

Get lost

Do us a favour

Do you mind?

Push off

Be absent

You must be joking

That'll be the day

Over my dead body

Are you serious?

Say not so

No, siree]

Nevermore

Not a lot

I should say not

Not in a million years

God preserve us

God forbid

Heaven forfend

Lawks a mussy]

Can't help, I'm afraid

Not within my remit

Wrong department

Sorry, old boy

Terribly sorry, but there it is

Damned shame

Awful pity

Quel dommage

Es tut mir leid

It is not possible

It is unthinkable

We have re-examined your case

There are no grounds for an appeal

The tests are quite positive

There are no grounds for doubt

Case dismissed

It's the end of the line

That's it

You've had it

No way out

The umpire's decision is final

This correspondence is closed - Ed

There is nobody here at present, but if you wish to leave a

message . . .

There is no paper in the fax machine

That's it

Over and out

Goodbye

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