Thank God one boss has finally realised that fake niceness puts off customers

I didn’t imagine I would have a lot in common with Tim Martin, the boss of Wetherspoon pubs – but he said something on Desert Island Discs this week that made me shout “hurrah” at my radio.

Tim Martin is very hands-on, visiting around 15 of his establishments every week. Asked about how he treats staff, he advises them “you don’t have to smile… don’t go out of your way to be nice”. According to Tim, their “natural personality will emerge if they are not under [extra] pressure, they are under enough pressure anyway… some of my best bar staff are quite grumpy”.

At last, someone has quashed the myth that fake niceness makes customers happy.

I know I am considered by some (not close friends) to be a bit of a curmudgeon, but I loathe the mini-conversations that are a regular feature of supermarket checkouts these days. Shoppers get interrogated before their first meal for one has gone through the scanner. It starts with a bright “have you had a nice day so far?” or the real killer, “got anything nice planned for this afternoon/evening?” As far as I am concerned, the correct answer is WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

My day is like the British weather: it can go from hot to cold to blustery to depression, all within a matter of hours. I like my conversations to be natural, not fake. I do not want to talk about my morning spent diddling about waiting for an idea to crystallise in my head – it’s private.

When shopping, I can manage hello, please and thanks, but the bosses of Marks & Spencer, Tesco and co have decided I will be loyal to their brand if I am served by smiley robots replicating a script. Forget it! The same goes for restaurants – staff ask what you want to drink before you’ve sat down and read the menu. Good staff don’t need to fake sincerity.