Westminster makes a mockery of tackling our bully-boy culture

The bullying scandal that has hit the Conservative party – and in particular this weekend’s revelations that senior figures failed to investigate claims against party members and instead did nothing –is a depressing insight into how organisations still fail to take accusations of bullying seriously.

The parents of Elliott Johnson not only have to face the devastation that his death has wrought, but must do so knowing that it could possibly have been prevented. If only someone had cared enough to do something about it.

The failure of those in positions of responsibility to take the duty of care they owe their charges seriously is a familiar tale. Despite numerous bullying awareness campaigns, as a society we still do not make bullying enough of a priority. Council figures obtained by the New Schools Network this week expose the scale of the problem in our education system: 1,000 children are forced to move schools every month because of bullying.

I was one of those children. I moved schools, aged 12, because the bullying I faced had become so unbearable that I was spending every break and lunch time crying in a toilet cubicle. For a year, I endured it all: subtle, psychological forms of victimisation, name-calling, ostracism, even physical injury. Despite meetings with my parents, the school did nothing.

The legacy of childhood bullying can mark a person’s adulthood. For me, a survivor of it, it shows itself in a hidden lack of confidence, the ingrained belief that everyone must think me worthless. It marks perpetrators, too. There’s a notion that bullying is something those who do it grow out of when they become adults. In fact, many childhood bullies become adult bullies. And adult bullying seems to be taken even less seriously, despite warnings that the problem is on the rise.

Bullying in the workplace is increasing. Acas has handled 20,000 calls about bullying and harassment this year alone, with some callers reporting that the experience had caused them to self-harm or consider suicide. Many said they were too afraid to talk about it, or that when they did come forward they were not taken seriously, their treatment attributed to a difference in management style or a “personality clash”.

There remains a perception that to accuse another of bullying as an adult is babyish. Adults should have the grit, the British stiff upper lip, required to laugh it off. Such attitudes begin at school, where you’re told to recite “sticks and stones will break my bones and words will never hurt me”. It’s just “banter”, after all. So to admit, especially as an adult, that words can be wounding exposes one as possessing the worst of qualities: hyper-sensitivity. That bullying can involve subtle forms of victimisation and humiliation can make identifying the problem even harder, as does the weaponisation of social media. We need to do more.

A Department of Education consultation completed earlier this year defined bullying in schools as “the repeated and intentional use of physical, verbal, electronic, written or psychological acts… with the intention of causing hurt, harm, fear [or] distress”. Workplaces should take heed of these guidelines.

Bullying in this country is an epidemic. It destroys lives and sometimes cuts them short. From the bully-boy culture of Westminster to the jeering of the tabloid press, it is socially acceptable to mock, deride, and intimidate others. Until that changes, nothing will.