At first I was angry about going solo to a wedding – but I had the time of my life

The flights alone were £250. Accommodation for three nights in a three-star hotel: €400. Taxis to and from each venue: €80. Spray tan to ameliorate beauty-related anxieties: £27. Cat sitter fees to ameliorate animal-related anxieties: £200. Last minute subscription to that Calm app to ameliorate the other anxieties: £39.99.

Weddings are expensive endeavours. But no more so than when they’re abroad and you’re single. There was so much to spend before I’d even gone anywhere that, when I was invited to a wedding in France this summer, my first thought was about how much of a toll this was all going to take on my bank balance. The answer, as you can see, is a lot.

Much has been written about the so-called “single tax” in reference to the higher cost of living for single people compared to those with partners. But when you’ve been single for a while, it can be fairly easy to float along in an ocean of denial, cutting back a little with your supermarket shop here, sharing a Netflix subscription with your flatmate there. Then you’re invited to a wedding abroad. And just like that, the tide comes in.

With all this in mind, it’s safe to say I was feeling a little resentful when I boarded my plane to Nice last week, having been delayed at security because I’d stashed a certain “personal electrical device” in my hand luggage that had to be inspected by several members of staff in front of a queue of people. I know: you couldn’t write it. And yet, here we are.

But I’m delighted to report that my bitterness quickly faded almost as soon as I arrived. While I was one of the only single people in attendance at this wedding, I’d managed to book a room in a hotel where two of my closest friends had also planned to stay with their partners. Not only did this hugely lighten the mood when we were getting ready, borrowing each other’s makeup and phone chargers, but it also meant we could share taxis, cigarettes, and breakfast bills.

The wedding was a weekend-long affair, which meant we had some time to fill in between various events. Again, staying in the same hotel as friends made a massive difference. Beach trips, morning walks, pre-wedding gossip. And so on.

As for the actual wedding itself, I had the time of my life. No, I wasn’t there with a partner. And no, there weren’t any single men to be match-made with (I was sat in between a friend’s boyfriend and an old school friend) but it didn’t matter. If anything, I think I was able to enjoy it more.

I flitted about between various social groups, staying for as long or as little as I liked, untethered to anyone or anything. In the absence of worries about whether or not a partner was having a good time, how well they were mingling with my friends, and if they’d had too much to drink, I was able to be completely present, which is not something I do often. I drank. I danced. I sang.

It’s not that you can’t do those things at a wedding if you’re there with a partner. Of course you can, and should. But after getting myself so worked up about the financial consequences of attending the wedding on my own, it was reassuring to know that it was worth every last penny.

For anyone attending a wedding abroad on their own this summer, I’d recommend the following: first, check the invitation for accommodation recommendations. There will usually be a list of options; if you choose the cheapest, chances are you’ll bump into other wedding guests who you can share taxis (and potentially adapters and makeup) with.

Secondly, do whatever you can to help you feel your best. Whether that’s going to get a spray tan beforehand, painting your nails, or bringing along whatever personal electronic devices you desire. This will boost your confidence on the day itself, and just make the whole experience that little bit sparklier.

Thirdly, let go of expectations. When you attend a wedding as a single person, there’s an impulse to have some sort of transcendental sexual encounter with another single wedding guest that everyone can gossip about over breakfast the following day. We’ve all seen those films. But trust me, clinging onto the fantasy will only lead to disappointment when, inevitably, you end the night alone in your overpriced three-star hotel room, snacking on some leftover pastry from the morning buffet (it was delicious).

Do all of that, and I promise you’ll wind up relinquishing control, having fun, and making memories you’ll cherish for years to come.