By lashing out at Steve Bannon, Trump has tripped head over heels into his own political coffin – but not for the reason you'd think

The bromance is reaching its logical endpoint: if Steve can’t have Donald, then apparently neither can we

Nash Riggins
Thursday 04 January 2018 11:00 EST
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Ever the textbook definition of a bull in a china shop, Trump has hit back by declaring Bannon a total failure who’s ‘lost his mind’
Ever the textbook definition of a bull in a china shop, Trump has hit back by declaring Bannon a total failure who’s ‘lost his mind’ (Reuters)

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There’s nothing sadder than a messy divorce. They just bring out the worst in people, and you can understand why. Divorce obliterates the foundations of all your hard-won hopes and dreams for the future. The end of a marriage can turn your world upside down, erode your sense of trust and really make you want to lash out at the person who’s betrayed you.

One of the easiest ways to make your turncoat lover hurt? Plaster all of your hushed bedroom whispers far and wide for everybody to gawk at.

Those spilt secrets have the ability to bulldoze somebody’s entire career. They destroy lives – and if Steve Bannon gets his way, they’ve got enough power to destroy a presidency, too.

But let’s backtrack for a minute: does anybody actually remember who Steve Bannon is?

In case you’ve already forgotten, Bannon’s the ominously off-kilter head of the ultra-conservative Breitbart News Network – which has this nasty habit of comparing birth control to the Holocaust.

'Political genius': Senate Leader Mitch McConnell mocks Steve Bannon

Bannon is often prepared to deploy a good homophobic slur, apparently thinks we’re all at war with Islam and is treated like some sort of political messiah by the far right. Hell, Bannon’s own ex-wife claimed the guy made antisemitic remarks – but you get the idea. He’s totally toxic.

But to a friendless political outsider like Donald Trump, none of that mattered.

You see, nobody but Steve Bannon thought Trump had a snowball’s chance in hell of beating the 17 actual Republicans vying for the party’s 2016 presidential nomination. And so when Trump realised he had a firm friend in Steve, the world’s most unpleasant bromance was born.

They did everything together – attack the media, belittle women, incite religious hatred – it was just Trump and Bannon against the world.

That’s why a victorious Trump defied all logic by handing Bannon one of the most important (and made-up) jobs in the White House. As Chief Strategist, Bannon was effectively the President’s right-hand man. He was privy to everything, and was often yelling in Trump’s ear. The way most people told it, Steve Bannon was the one really calling the shots, too.

That’s ultimately why Bannon got sent to the chopping block back in August. After all, Steve was supposed to be Trump’s personal cheerleader – not de facto leader. And despite publicly thanking Bannon for his service and reportedly keeping him on speed dial for months after the break-up, Trump had to move on.

But Steve Bannon couldn’t move on. Donald Trump was his entire world – his ticket to eternal fame and glory. And if Steve can’t have Donald, apparently neither can we.

This week, the White House has gone to Defcon One after Bannon accused Trump’s son of treason for meeting with Russian operatives at Trump Tower in 2016. And ever the textbook definition of a bull in a china shop, Trump has already hit back by declaring Bannon a total failure who’s “lost his mind”. Lawyers are getting involved, and this is definitely going to get pretty messy.

And you know what? By lashing out at Bannon, Donald Trump has tripped head over heels into his own political coffin – but not for the reason you think.

At this point, America’s Teflon Don has been pretty much untouchable. Accusations of sexual assault, racism or dodgy business dealings don’t faze him anymore. There’s no dirt icky enough to force him to resign or convince his congressional minions to issue a pink slip – and to be honest, Steve Bannon probably hasn’t got anything grimy enough to immediately rid us of Trump, either.

But in lashing out at Steve Bannon, the President has foolishly driven a sharp, bloody stake right through the heart of his own extremist support base. The voters who flocked to the couple’s shared banner must now choose a side, and this is going to be even more traumatic for the fans than when Brad split from Jen.

Are they going to pick the political heretic who’s already flip-flopped on half his campaign promises, or do they stick with the alt-right prophet and true believer?

You can probably guess who the neo-Nazis will side with, but either way America’s most unpopular president loses. After all, by alienating the radicals and castigating America’s emphatic alt-right media scene, Donald Trump has totally squandered the biggest and loudest weapons in his arsenal. He’s just lost a huge chunk of his political capital, and there’s no way to claw that power back.

Is this the end for Donald Trump? Probably not – but things are only going to get worse for the guy.

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