In a parallel universe, this is what Donald Trump would do right now. And it would win him the 2020 election
His hair is a muted dark brown, slicked back. His suits are cut differently. His comms team manage his tweets, and he's just employed a hot new chef specialising in wagyu burgers. This is the Trump whose re-election would be a shoo-in
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Your support makes all the difference.It’s Tuesday, in a parallel but possible universe. Donald Trump wakes up, hits the gym with his boxing trainer, showers, then styles his hair.
Gone is the orange barnet, with its intricate candy-floss styling. Instead, his mane is a muted dark brown, slicked back like on his recent trip to Virginia.
He’s still wearing the Brioni suits, but the cut is different. Instead of the boxy jackets with dangling sleeves and trousers with absurdly wide legs, everything’s tucked and tapered, cutting a cleaner outline.
His Twitter account, managed by his communications team, is updated sporadically. Everything posted in his name has been ruthlessly tested in focus groups. Ever since he handed over the logins, he has to go through a group of PR experts whenever he wants to lash out at a perceived enemy. Every time, they round off the edges.
It’s still Trump, just not as we know him.
Recognising that one man can’t do it all, he’s emboldened a chief of staff — a sensible GOP hand — to manage the sprawling West Wing bureaucracy. Now there’s no need to navigate daily Game of Thrones-esque power plays, every staffer is focused on policy, not self-preservation.
Trump’s love of fast food has evolved from his days as a brash upstart developer from Queens. He still munches burgers, but he’s brought aboard a hot, creative young chef who’s turning out American wagyu delights on brioche buns, and dazzling the culinary world with his various twists on the American classic.
Imagine this man heading into a general election just 18 months from now, and ask yourself: does he perform better or worse than the Donald Trump we’re used to seeing day in and day out? The answer seems clear — he’d walk it.
It was often said, before and after the 2016 election, that the weight of the office would force him to become presidential. After catching sight of the nuclear football, and kicking off his shoes in the Oval Office and feeling the hand of history on his shoulder, he’d transform from carnival barker to muted statesman.
It was not to be. Had it been, then today’s President Trump would be set to walk 2020. Because for all of his opponents’ distaste for his policies, it’s the disdain for his demeanour, his coarseness, his vulgarity, his unsophistication, and his norm-breaking that super-charges the opposition to him.
Trolls on the right mock Trump’s opponents with the refrain "orange man bad”, but it’s true that for many the idea of a clownish, new-money guy from Jamaica Estates in the White House really does add insult to the injury of his policies. By comparison, Barack Obama was professorial, at times aloof, and looked like he knew his way around a plate of scallops and a blue cheese soufflé. Donald Trump, by contrast, orders his steak well-done with a side of ketchup.
There are three reasons that our Trump of the parallel universe would be a shoo-in in 2020.
First, the Democrats — itching for a new generation of leadership — may have been more inclined to take a punt on riskier, unproven prospects like Pete Buttigieg or Beto O’Rourke. A less offensive Trump could have allowed an outsider to assert dominance over the field of Democratic candidates by setting out an inspiring, utopian vision: the sort of vision easily dismissed as pie-in-the-sky by Republicans.
Instead, voters are now more likely to be armchair tacticians going into voting season — which has seen Joe Biden transformed from gaffe-machine to elder statesman because he’s strong against Trump in key demographics. The folksy bumbler has become frontrunner, and a credible threat to Trump’s administration.
Secondly, expect almost every person who identifies as Democrat to turn out next year, regardless of the candidate. It’s the public’s first chance to lash back at the president. Millions of Davids versus the Oval Office Goliath. A more presidential Trump would have taken the heat out of that need for vengeance.
Thirdly, while Trump’s personal approval rating has been historically low, elements of his actions as president have been well-received. In the most recent Gallup poll, 43 per cent of voters disapprove of how he’s doing his job as president. But if you ask them about individual issues, the numbers are much higher.
On North Korea, terrorism, unemployment, and national defence, more people approve than disapprove.
On the economy — the cornerstone of most election campaigns — he’s at 56 per cent, a significant amount of polls show that many voters tend to credit him for the strong economy, rather than seeing it as a handover from Obama.
Parallel universe Trump would still have his media champions and hardline surrogates — Kellyanne Conway and the like — boosting him on Fox News in the raw, base terms that fire up his most diehard fans.
And the man at the centre of it all could sleep comfortably, banking on the incumbent’s lurch towards victory rather than the near-coin toss (with Democrats as slight favourites) that bookmakers currently anticipate.
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