The Top 10: More jokes

As is traditional at this time of year, a round-up of the best one-liners collected on social media

John Rentoul
Friday 20 December 2019 18:40 EST
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Cartoon by Moose Allain
Cartoon by Moose Allain (Moose Allain)

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Once again, thanks to these geniuses of the world’s second most popular microblogging website,* especially Moose Allain (who also draws, as above) and Glenny Rodge.

1. If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall. Glenny Rodge.

2. At all times the royal fusiliers are on standby, should the Queen want twisty pasta for lunch. Moose Allain.

3. Who called them cabin crew and not cloud-based servers? Craig Deeley.

4. “Can you think of a word for a tube or trough for protecting electric wiring?” “A conduit.” “Well at least have a try.” Moose Allain.

5. If the Queen ever writes an autobiography, I hope she calls it One on One. Nick Motown.

6. I shortened the rope on the bucket used to collect the village’s water. Didn’t go down well. Glenny Rodge.

7. I guess the sunk cost fallacy is bad and all but I’ve been making decisions based on it for too long to stop now. Chaos Prime.

8. Orion’s Belt is a waist of space. Juicy Candy.

9. I think they should call it the Victoria & Albert We Are Not A Museum. Moose Allain.

10. “What do we want?” “A compilation album!” “What shall we call it?” “Now!” Glenny Rodge.

*Weibo, the Chinese site, has 445 million users; Twitter has only 320 million.

Next week: The top 10 top 10s of 2019.

Coming soon: MPs’ first speeches, once some of them have spoken.

Your suggestions please, and ideas for future Top 10s, to me on Twitter, or by email to top10@independent.co.uk

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