At Good Morning Britain today, I started feeling sorry for Thomas Markle. Then I stopped myself

I was at Good Morning Britain today during Thomas Markle's interview where he detailed the continued estrangement between him and his daughter Meghan Markle, aka the Duchess of Sussex.

I stood on the side of the studio watching his face as he spilled his guts for the cameras and for a moment, I weakened. I felt sorry for him.

“I have been trying to reach out for several weeks, every day I try to text her, but haven't received anything back,” he said, wearing an expression of seemingly genuine disappointment.

“There has to be a place for me – I'm her father and will be the grandfather of her children,” he went on. And on the topic of Christmas: “All families, royal or otherwise, are the same and should be together at the holidays.”

There was a palpable air of sympathy in the studio. A man in his seventies, who has some pretty robust health concerns, is worried that he'll never see his daughter again, let alone meet his grandchild. Who could lack sympathy for that? How can big bad Meghan cut off her dad after a couple of little mistakes?

It should come as no surprise that the narrative has spun in this direction. It's boring to think of Meghan Markle as a normal human being, flawed like we all are. Far more exciting to paint her as the beautiful yet evil villain, making poor sweet Kate cry and unable to retain staff because she rises at 5am to order them around. That’s the kind of story that millions of us, even if we don’t admit to it, like to click on.

Is it true? I've got no idea. Like the vast majority of people who are invested in this ongoing drama, I've never met the woman. I imagine that she's probably got high standards and wants a degree of control over her marriage and these traits have been twisted into accusations of malice, but of course that’s only speculation.

Ultimately it doesn't matter whether Meghan is a complete saint with a hellish family or a sea witch made flesh to tear down the British monarchy. She's a non-reigning royal and mostly a figurehead. Her behaviour doesn’t actually affect us.

Watercooler moments on the other hand (or, given that it’s 2018, Whatsapp group conversation topics) are powerful. When we discuss the Markle family estrangement, we're not just talking about them. We're discussing a reality which affects us mere mortals too.

We all have the right to cut people out of our lives if they make us unhappy. Sometimes those people are family members. Sometimes that's OK.

According to StandAlone.org, there are around five million adults in the UK who are estranged from at least one member of their direct family. That’s about 8 per cent of us.

There is a litany of reasons why someone might cut a family member out. In Meghan’s case it’s probably because he disrespected the code of conduct she has decided to live by, thereby jeopardising her entry into the royal family.

For the non-royals among us, the reasons be slightly less glamourous, but they’re still not that different. “My dad left when I was eleven,” said Annie*, 31, when I asked to speak with those who had experienced similar things. “He never made much effort with me, just sporadic visits on his timetable. He was never interested in anything I was doing and never turned up to support me. When I got to 21 I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore. I don’t regret it at all. I’ve lost nothing apart from the stress of wondering when he would turn up next.”

Despite the prevalence of estrangement, we as a society place astonishing levels of importance on blood relationships. Christmas is a perfect example of this, with people all over the UK trekking home to spend the festive period with families they don’t enjoy being with, just because it’s tradition.

The sad truth is that sharing blood with someone doesn't always mean they're good for you. Just because you have similar DNA does not assure a close bond or a healthy relationship. Sometimes it's better for you to cut ties with someone – even someone you love – for your own safety or sanity.

There is an enormous stigma about cutting people out of your life – whether that’s friends, family or partners. When I ended a friendship recently, another friend commented, “God, you really do get through them, don't you?” – an offhand comment meant lightly, which left me stewing for several days.

Cutting people out of your life is perceived as bold, brutal and tough. It's unquestionably a large part of why Meghan Markle is perceived to be “difficult”. But in reality, it's just self-preservation.

What is the sense in continuing a connection with someone who makes you actively unhappy, who disregards your boundaries and doesn't respect you? Even if that person is your father. We don’t pick our parents. And we don’t owe people blind loyalty in the face of extreme provocation simply because they assisted in our conception.

So as I watched Thomas Markle's sad, lonely face and felt the twist of sympathy, I stopped myself. This is a man who has ignored his daughter's requests not to give interviews time and time again.

No one knows what Thomas Markle thinks that he's achieving by going on telly to talk about his daughter. It's not money – he doesn't take payment for these slots. Perhaps his attempts to reconnect with Meghan are genuine.

Maybe he truly believes that in publicly asking his daughter to call him he will make progress.

The sad thing is that if his intentions really are pure, and he really does think this is the way to a joyful family reunion, that just proves how little he knows her. Maybe that's why she isn't returning his calls.