The Top 10: More Twitter Jokes
A bonus list of childishness and folly for the Easter holidays
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Your support makes all the difference.I have been off this week, so, as is traditional, I offer some of the best of the constantly improving microblogging website.
1. Working on my autobiography. (Not the written part – the practical.) Moose Allain
2. There was a Roman province so good they named it Thrace. Matthew Readwin
3. My mate was offered a job as a noise pollution inspector. He had to turn it down. Chris Heaton-Harris
4. It turns out confirmation bias means exactly what I expected it to mean. Moose Allain
5. Cowboy walks into a German car showroom. “Audi.” Chris Heaton-Harris
6. Policeman: “Name.”
Man: “Iggy Pop.”
Policeman: “Your full name.”
Man (quietly): “Ignatius Poppadum.” Trouteyes
7. Statistic of the day: Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy. Chris Heaton-Harris
8. When I discovered I’d been the victim of ID theft, I was absolutely liv. Barry Harper
9. I’ve just made a ventriloquist’s dummy out of some old carpet. It’s ruggish. Neil (Enanem)
10. “My wife’s got a part in that JB Priestley play.”
“Inspector Calls?”
“No, contact lenses.” Moose Allain
Next week: Famous people whose names are sentences, such as Britney Spears and Clive Staples Lewis
Coming soon: Words that died and were reborn, such as wireless
The e-book of Listellany: A Miscellany of Very British Top Tens, From Politics to Pop is just £3.79. Your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, in the comments please, or to me on Twitter, or by email to top10@independent.co.uk
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