The Royal Court Theatre is encouraging babies into the auditorium, but it's too little too late

If the Royal Court expects a round of applause for waiving the strict ban on babies that dooms new parents to years of evenings in with box sets, well I’m sorry but I won’t be clapping. Far from relaxing its attendance policy, all the west London-based theatre is doing is allowing under ones to attend one prescribed show, hardly a revolution. Babies and young children remain unwelcome at the overwhelming majority of productions, even ones aimed at families.

Take The Lorax, which opened at The Old Vic last week. The Dr Seuss yarn has been adapted for the stage, complete with a cuddly-looking moustachioed puppet. But can we go on a family theatre trip to see it this Christmas? Apparently not. The 14 month old won’t be able to come and nor will my four-year-old son, I realised only yesterday - after buying the tickets. He is expected to sit still for hours on end at school, but he can’t be trusted for a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon in an auditorium.

If this sounds like a very #firstworldproblem, it hides bigger issues, like the plight of parents in the performing arts world - actors, producers, theatre managers - who need to keep up with their industry, but can’t once they’ve reproduced. What’s more, it represents society’s wider desire to ghettoise children - and their parents - rather than create a world where everyone gets along.

Instead of relaxing the rules for one performance, how about treating parents like adults, and letting them decide if their child, from zero and up, can cope with a particular show? That’s what the Southbank Centre did last December, when I wanted to take my then seven-week-old baby to a John Grant gig. I was poised to run out if she made a peep but guess what? She slept right through, and no one even noticed she was there.