Why don’t the men obsessed with Tess Holliday admit they’re not actually concerned for her health?

I'm not usually one for conspiracy theories. I don't believe in chemtrails and I'm pretty sure the moon landings weren't fake. But I must admit, I've got my very own conspiracy theory, and the more I think about it, the more sure about it I am.

Here it is: men who object to high profile fat women are not actually worried about their health, or even that they're bad role models. What they're really objecting to is attention being lavished on a woman who they don't consider to be attractive.

Case in point: Piers Morgan's open letter to Tess Holliday, telling her that her obesity is dangerous and urging her to lose weight.

Despite purportedly coming from a place of concern for the health risks of obesity, I haven't seen Piers write open letters to men such as James Corden who is also a bit heavier and also appears on the front covers of magazines. And as far as I know, Piers doesn't have access to Tess' medical records.

The combination of those two facts leads me to believe that perhaps his (and all the other men saying the same thing – he's far from the only person to make a similar statement) might not solely be objecting to Tess' size but rather the amount of space she is taking up in the public eye, despite not being shaped like a traditional celebrity.

Like all good theories, this one comes from a lifetime of study. As a teenager I experienced first-hand that boys (none of whom found me sexually attractive because I was a size 12 brunette with a wonky fringe) seemed to think that my lack of sexual attractiveness also meant that I should keep my mouth shut. As a teenage feminist and all round show off, I found this idea confusing.

“I don't understand why you think people care what you think”, a boy told me once over MSN Messenger, “when you're so f***ing ugly”.

If I thought the idea that only beautiful women should be allowed to speak was going to go away as I got older, I was wrong. Dramatically, aggressively wrong.

A big part of my job as a journalist is appearing on the telly to talk about things, usually things that are damaging to women. And whenever I leave a TV studio, I brace myself to check my phone. I know what will be there. A sea of messages from people (and I'm afraid it is always men) telling me that I should just “shut my face”. The reason that I should shut my face? Because I am “ugly”.

“You fat f***ing c**t ‘sex writer’, saying sex is a privilege while you get it easily because you are a female”, read one recent message, sent to me by a man calling himself Jeff.

“...You overweight bitch is so f***ing low IQ, you existing as an overweight subhuman should be considered a privilege to you, be glad you don't live in Saudi Arabia because you would be stoned to death for being such a worthless fat piece of sh** writing nonsense. Not only are you fat, but you also apply sh** tons of makeup to try and hide your subhuman face. I could land a Russian jet on your philtrum. Have a nice day, I have been trying to be truthful, maybe you will mind getting a surgery for your maxilla and losing sh** tons of weight after this text!”

I get hundreds of these messages a year, all saying the same thing: “You shouldn't be talking about your opinions on TV because you are not attractive”. The men who send them are unable to untangle their hatred of my face and body from the articles I write and the things I say on TV. It seems that, in their minds, I am not worthy of speaking because they think I'm ugly.

I'm not sure that I agree with the statement that I'm ugly. But it's true, I don't look like the kind of person who you usually see on TV. Traditionally women on TV – even women who do jobs which have nothing to do with being attractive, like news readers – are conventionally beautiful.

Something about an outspoken woman who isn't conventionally perfect – whether it's size 14 Rebecca Reid with a patchy fake tan, or size 24 supermodel Tess Holliday in a bathing suit – really seems to make some men angry.

It happens to all women in the media, left or right or centre, old or young. The only universal is that it is continuously levelled at women. Katie Hopkins gets called ugly almost as often as she is called racist, as if her face has any bearing on her political opinions. And yet you almost never see Tommy Robinson or Owen Jones being called an “uggo”. It’s their opinions, not their bodies, that make waves.

The message being sent when you insult a woman's face rather than her argument is this: you don't look the way a woman “should” so your voice should be redundant. You're not beautiful enough to have a voice. Get prettier, or shut up.

Huge attention has been paid to the picture of Tess Holliday wearing a bathing suit on the front cover of Cosmopolitan. Very little has been paid to what she said inside the magazine. I've read stories about the cover where the accompanying interview wasn't even quoted.

Whether fatness is synonymous with ill health, is a topic best discussed by medical professionals. It's an area of science experiencing an increasing amount of scrutiny. But what we should be able to agree on is that the validity of a person's voice isn't defined by their body mass, or the symmetry of their face. Whether you're a size two or a size 22 should have no bearing on whether or not you are entitled to share your opinion.

Women must be allowed to speak their minds, regardless of whether or not you want to f*** them.