Ruth Davidson's sexy tweet featuring a half-naked Gillian Anderson isn't 'problematic' – it's a message to the DUP

The furore over Ruth Davidson’s “Right, I’m off for a fortnight” tweet featuring a saucy nineties Loaded-style pic of actress Gillian Anderson in lingerie is so gorgeously multi-faceted, it was hard to know which part to be most annoyed by. As a columnist permanently on the lookout for famous folk doing stuff to scrutinise, I knew immediately that it was going to be a “hot takes” payday. Was Davidson – a leading Conservative and also, gasp, a lesbian – shoving a middle finger up at the DUP? Was she expressing her desire for haughty femme-style women in seamed stockings and 120mm Louboutins?

Hang on, no, was Davidson actually being a terrible sexist because she was objectifying another woman and that’s not fair as what about the men who can’t objectify women because nobody lets them anymore? Yes, what about the men?

Or was the main thrust of this furore that we just can’t handle our politicians showing a soft, playful, flirtatious side? In fact, it gives us the dry heave. The public can handle Ruth Davidson being confident, loveably bumptious and even a bit blue, but when it comes to her lusting after other women, the British public would prefer she was sat sagely in a starched trouser suit ruminating over Nicola Sturgeon’s plans for a second independence referendum.

Is the problem that, even in 2017, the British public still cannot handle our politicians being, well, a bit sexy? When British MPs are naughty, twinkle-eyed or lewd, it just feels plain weird.

In terms of aversion to sexy MPs, I admit pure guilt. Although, yes indeed, I am quite confident that both Westminster and seaside party conferences are hotbeds of headboard-clattering, it irks me to imagine it.

Why should they be having fun? A lot of these people have got this country into a terrible mess with their meddling and quest for power. I want MPs led mainly by their conscience to investigate tedious matters like local traffic-calming. Not MPs led by their penises or prowling vulvas to hang around on Tinder looking for random shags.

It’s just as well, then, that there are basically no outwardly sexy or even sexual British MPs, aside from flinty-eyed Zac Goldsmith who looks to me like he could bang you into next Wednesday but would probably spend the post-coital fag moaning forlornly about badger-culling. That aside, we have no La Cicciolina appearing in The Great Hall with her tits out pulling a peace sign. Not even a Justin Trudeau type who can appear in a room and make women ovulate via raw charisma.

Again, this is perhaps down to public scrutiny. Back in 2014, I wrote several pearl-clutching diatribes about MP Simon Danczuk and his large-knockered now ex-wife Karen. Not only did these two have the temerity to look like they had a lot of sex, but they looked like they probably bloody loved it too. Disgusting.

“There is no place for cleavage selfies in Westminster, Karen,” I quacked, pursing my lips. It is the British way, I feel, to flip endlessly between naughty Blackpool seventies postcard mentality – wahey! – and self-enforced Tunbridge Wells Taliban.

Ruth Davidson is probably feeling this acutely right now, for admitting she fancies Scully from The X-Files and now fielding accusations she is an “eejit” and not political material. But, if we’re being picky, Davidson posted the picture as she went on holiday for a fortnight. If she’s not allowed to display a sexual side during office hours, then surely she’s allowed a twinkle in her eye on her fortnight-long break.

As for the accusations of Davidson being a sexist or unfairly objectifying her fellow sex, I feel this is a case for feminists of weighing up the pros and cons. Yes, a woman posting a photo of another woman who is known for her acting reduced to a soft-porn model aesthetic is “problematic”, and yes, if Eric Pickles had posted a photo of a half-naked Pamela Anderson at breakfast, he’d have been resigning and claiming to have been “hacked” by noon.

Yet it’s vital to see the bigger picture. For Davidson to post this decidedly tame but definitely sexy photo of Anderson – who is a lesbian icon although I have no idea of her own sexuality – was a clear message to factions affiliated with her party that Davidson’s sexuality will not be hushed. It will not be ignored or “tolerated” as long as “it’s not in anyone’s faces”. It will not be quiet, and her marriage will not masquerade itself as just two lovely spinsters shacking up together.

This is how many women across Northern Ireland still live due to the views of some of those within the DUP and Davidson will not be a part of it. This photo of Anderson, whether Davidson thought it through entirely or not, was about a strident, confident lesbian woman displaying sexual agency in a time where we have seen the resurgence of religious bigotry.

So no, as a general rule, I don’t want my MPs being sexy, but in this instance: go on, Ruth, girl. Let’s have Drew Barrymore in just a feather boa next.