Even when a woman wins an Olympic medal, bagging a man is still considered her greatest achievement

He Zi won a silver medal at the Rio Olympics yesterday for a three-metre springboard diving event. But you wouldn’t know it, because she was also proposed to by her boyfriend live on air – and it’s this lifetime’s achievement that has dominated the headlines since.

All those years of training, building up mental and physical stamina, finally paid off when she let that engagement ring slide down her fourth finger and gave cameras a thumbs-up.

Fellow athlete and boyfriend of six years, Qin Kai, proposed to Zi during her Olympic medal ceremony. The proposal has divided public opinion on whether a public declaration of love is the most romantic of romantic gestures, or a clever way of guaranteeing that the object of your affections will say “yes” to a marriage proposal. After all, he did it live on television all over the world.

But there’s something a little more sinister going on here – a theme acknowledged by those who feared the act of such a public proposal was a control mechanism reflecting the global privilege of male entitlement.

Sporting events across the world often go hand-in-hand with celebrating societal achievements and social progression. Games like the Olympics are never just about the sport, but also about humanity itself, overcoming prejudices and the inclusion of minorities.

That’s why a marriage proposal in such an arena feels so off key, and yet reminds us of the world we’ll still be living in once the Rio closing ceremony ends and we go back to our daily lives – a world in which a woman’s greatest celebrated achievement is not winning an Olympic medal, but bagging a man and marriage. And that’s why Zi’s proposal has attracted more headlines than her sporting achievement.

Whatever her boyfriend’s motives – no doubt he genuinely thought it was just the perfect opportunity to propose, failing to consider that, when it came to the media coverage, it would have the effect of belittling her silver medal rather than celebrating it – the whole saga says a lot about the our perceptions of women in marriage, even in the West and even in 2016.

When a woman announces her engagement, she receives flowers, cards of congratulations and cries of “I’m so proud”. But all she’s really done to foster that pride is manage to stay in a relationship. This is an achievement, but it’s no more impressive than the hundreds of other small successes that women have in their daily lives, all of which pass by without celebration or congratulation.

Many women are married or will one day choose to do so (and, sadly, a great many will marry though choice has little to do with). Most of us, however, have never and will never win a silver medal at the Olympic Games – that is He Zi’s great personal achievement, and the one that deserves the loudest praise.

Let’s hope this oh-so-public proposal doesn’t send out entirely the wrong message about women: that our marital status is still the ultimate indicator of our achievements and our value to the world.