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My wife said she would put up with my obsessiveness so long as I didn't kiss the salesgirls in Marks & Spencer - Dustin Hoffman

Although I was not guilty of the crime of which I was accused, the resulting media coverage makes me wonder if I shall ever be innocent again - Craig Charles, actor acquitted of rape charge

Ministers are not elected and appointed for their chastity - George Walden, Tory MP

You don't look too bad at all - John Humphrys to Margaret Thatcher before a television interview

It's jam, jam and jam all the way for the bank godfathers and dole, dole, dole every day for more bank workers - Ian McCartney, shadow employment minister

One hazard of attending church these days is that you are likely to be kissed and hugged by people you neither know nor like. To refuse to participate is to brand you stand-offish, unloving and un-Christian - Anthony O'Hear, professor of philosophy at Bradford University

We never showed too much cleavage and if a man and a woman were in bed together the man had to keep one foot on the ground. Unless you were an acrobat you couldn't get up to much - Chili Bouchier, 85, former silent screen sex symbol

Mrs Windsor can come and go as she wants - Gerry Adams, Sinn Fein president, on the Queen's visit to Northern Ireland

If you want to be happy for a day, go fishing. If you want to be happy for a week, get married. If you want to be happy for a month, kill a pig. If you want to be happy and contented for all time, smoke a pipe - Lord Mason, convenor of the Lords and Commons Pipesmokers' Club