We might all get the chance to ‘meet’ Harry and Meghan

According to some of the latest widespread – if slightly fanciful – reporting on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the ambitious pair are set on becoming the world’s first virtual reality royals.

Not content with getting out of the royal family and then Britain, the Duke and Duchess are apparently “in talks” with a technology company to escape earth itself. In a sense. They’re said to be keen to get into the promising world of virtual reality, and “the new deal could take many forms” including gaming and online forums where the Sussexes appear as… digital avatars of themselves.

A source told the Daily Mirror: “Both Meghan and Harry believe they will an even greater ability to spread their message if they have a presence in the virtual world as well as the physical world. They’ve spoken to a variety of experts and the view is this is the next stage to take their brand truly global.”

Another industry insider added that “Harry and Meghan have already gone global. This would take them into a different stratosphere.” Not strictly scientifically accurate (or even – dare I say it – believable), but you get the idea.

It’s very much in line with that bald bloke who runs The Facebook and his commercially ruinous plan for something called a Metaverse. It’s going to be a world where, if you don’t like the world you’re in, you can go and make a new life in a new universe.

It’s an intriguing notion, as well as one that inevitably results in more publicity for Harry’s forthcoming “bombshell” book – flippantly entitled ‘Spare’ – and their new Netflix docuseries, said to be worth around $100m to the struggling sort-of royal couple.

Imagine a world where you could, presumably for a modest fee, enjoy a convivial lunch with the virtual Harry and Meg, although you’d have to bring your own real food, I suppose. You, as virtual visitor, could ask the virtual couple what they “really” think about the other, less dynamic, callous royals down there in the real world and what they’re really like. The answers you receive could be entirely fictional, which, ironically, would also be an accurate reflection of reality on earth.

For an extra fee you might even be allowed to coo over the virtual toddler Archie and the virtual baby Lilibet, and find out what these infants (who are destined never to be king or queen of the United Kingdom) are “really” like, ie in the “Meghanverse”.

The possibilities are endless. You could explore their luxury 10-bedroom Frogmore “cottage” on the Windsor estate, peek back in time to the Nazi guard outfit Harry once wore in real life, and the suits Meghan wore in... well, Suits. But there are dangers.

A virtual Dan Wooton, for example, could force his way into the Sussexes’ presence and sink his sparkling teeth into them in the kind of foam-flecked confusion he suffers on GB News every time someone (usually him) utters the name of the fifth in line to throne and his bride in his presence.

Indeed, the new virtual royalty idea could be usefully expanded. The “Windsorverse” could be populated not only by King Charles and Queen Camilla, but various past royals, insofar as they can be re-imagined: Harold, Richard III, Henry VIII, Elizabeth I, Victoria, even the late Queen. The lot.

You could host your own dinner party, paint-balling expedition or or novelty school disco featuring all your favourite sovereigns, and yet be quite confident that neither Richard Crookback nor the Virgin Queen could have you murdered/executed for lèse-majestéin their testy presence. You could fart in front of George III with impunity. It would be like Westworld, but without the jeopardy.

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Personally, I’d organise a louche, right royal booze up in a pre-war piano bar; with fine dining, cocktails, cigars and unlimited champagne for Edward and Mrs Simpson, the Prince Regent and Mrs FitzHerbert, Princess Margaret plus Roddy Llewelyn, Charles II and Nel Gwynne, Edward VII in Prince of Wales mode, plus Edward II and his friend Piers Galveston, just for a bit of extra spice.

Maybe Matt Hancock, fresh from the jungle – and his paramour Gina, too. It shouldn’t be allowed to degenerate into an orgy, no matter how keen Matt might be, but it would be a bit of a saturnalia. How’s that for a fun virtual night out/in?

As ever, Harry ‘n Megs are on to something. A virtual monarchy would be much cheaper to run than the real thing, and more “accessible” for a hard-pressed public looking for value for money from their taxes.

It’s the logical next step in turning the Windsors into a truly global brand. Royalty and virtual reality: the ultimate escapism, where we can all spend some time finding freedom.