Don't ask me about the perpetrator of the Poway synagogue shooting. Ask me about Lori Gilbert Kaye

Lori Gilbert Kaye, Lori Gilbert Kaye, Lori Gilbert Kaye, Lori Gilbert Kaye. If you haven’t yet heard this name, please familiarize yourself with it.

While a large portion of America has memorized the name of a 19-year-old shooter who entered the Chabad of Poway in San Diego County this past weekend, armed with an AR-15, very few can name the woman who lost her life in that same synagogue.

This is all too common with mass shootings and other terrorist attacks in America. The media tends to focus on the “bad guy”, rather than the victims, and readers respond. Humans feed off of stories that they have a hard time understanding, and they thrive off of attempting to understand the mind and psychology of bad people. It’s a natural urge — but one we should work to overrule today.

On 27 April 2019, Kaye was attending synagogue services to mourn the recent death of her own mother. When a shooter walked in and opened fire in the direction of the rabbi, Yisroel Goldstein, Kaye threw herself between the shooter and him. This loving, compassionate, heroic act is what resulted in Kaye losing her own life.

This was just one example of the compassion that Kaye has been known to show toward others. As Rabbi Goldstein explained in the aftermath of the shooting, Kaye was “more about living than taking, and she did it with such a smile.” As an example, Rabbi Goldstein told the story of how Kaye spent much of her time at an oncologist office, not because she was ill, but rather because she made it her mission to accompany another woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She continued to do so until that woman passed away.

Lori Gilbert Kaye was a victim of something that has become more common in America over the past couple of years: hate crimes. More specifically, anti-Semitic hate crimes, which rose 37 per cent between 2016 to 2017, according to the FBI. That’s a big jump.

Some will blame this phenomenon on the political landscape we are currently living in, while others will point to factors such as a rise in far-right sentiment, or President Trump’s inability to bring people together. Most Americans would probably agree that, as a nation, we have become more divisive over the past couple of years.

Humans have a need to bond with one another and to belong — something which can express itself in good or bad ways. When individuals bond with others over hateful ideologies, they tend to legitimize that hate to each other. The ideology, which promotes bonding through “othering” of outsiders, becomes the reinforcing glue which holds a group of people together. This is the dark side of our own natures; but when we respond by actively choosing to make compassionate bonds, we can defeat our hateful counterparts.

Lori Kaye needs to be remembered today, as she is laid to rest at a well-attended funeral. Her name, not the name of the shooter, should be embedded in history; her actions recorded and discussed whenever hate crimes are discussed. For it’s when we remember the loving deeds of people like Kaye that we too become more loving ourselves, and when we stop the cycle that led someone to want to kill her and her peers.

Ed Krassenstein is co-founder of the Hill Reporter and co-host of Krassencast