Nobody Wants This is sexist – and disrespectful to Jewish women like me

Let me start off by saying that I really wanted to love Nobody Wants This, the new Netflix romcom series that social media is going bananas for. I wanted to fawn over it, and adore it in all its flawless, funny glory. As someone who has forever cited Seth Cohen as their dream man – I’ve literally written his name down on manifestation boards – I can say quite confidently that my hopes truly could not have been higher. 

In Nobody Wants This, it’s as if everyone’s favourite OC heartthrob is all grown up. And he’s just as hot, funny and neurotic as he was back in Orange County. Except this time, he’s a rabbi – one with an alarming amount of emotional maturity, self-awareness, and that key thing all slightly chaotic, Jewish single women like me are yearning for: tolerance. 

Yes, Adam Brody’s hot rabbi, named Noah, might be the perfect man. And his co-star, Kristen Bell, plays his arguably perfect – albeit non-Jewish – woman, Joanne. There might be pitch perfect dialogue that is both sharp and emotionally astute.

But there is one thing desperately wrong with Nobody Wants This that makes all that a little hard to parse: its portrayal of Jewish women.

For those who haven’t yet seen the show, some background: it begins with Noah breaking up with his long-term girlfriend. Soon after, he meets blonde bombshell, Joanne, and an unlikely romance ensues. But there are hurdles: not only is Joanne a “shiksa” (aka a non-Jewish woman) but, without giving too much away, her fraught relationship with her parents means it’s a little harder for her to be vulnerable with men. Hard relate, girl. 

All this is to say that Noah is basically the ideal man. His brother too, who is mostly presented as a devoted husband and father. But what about the show’s Jewish women?

First off, there’s Rebecca, Noah’s marriage-obsessed, conniving ex-girlfriend whose sole ambition is to be “Mrs Head Rabbi”. The main crime with her portrayal is that we really aren’t given any characterisation of her beyond that. Put simply, she’s a devious cipher with good hair – one whose only narrative purpose is to show us Joanne’s internalised misogyny, and give her the space to overcome that.

Then there’s Esther, Noah’s snipey sister-in-law, who, admittedly, is given some of the most acerbic lines in the show, but is ultimately depicted as a bitchy, jealous, controlling mother and wife.

The same can be said for Bina, Noah’s mother, whose stereotypical character is defined entirely by her aversion to Noah marrying a “shiksa”.

Even the bevy of Jewish WAGs (the wives and girlfriends of Noah’s basketball teammates) aren’t much better. Cue a Mean Girls-inspired sequence listing off each of their personalities so Joanne can manipulate her way to being friends with them: one only wants to talk about themselves and the other just wants to talk about her wedding in Aruba. Hardly the kind of women anyone would willingly warm to.

I’m not the only person who finds this problematic, by the way. Similar criticism has been percolating online among Jewish women who’ve watched the show. One Glamour writer, Jessica Radloff, wrote that after she watched the first two episodes, she said the following to her mother: “I can’t imagine any guy who watches this show who would then say, ‘I really want to date a Jewish girl!’ We come off as controlling, marriage-hungry women who want to plan dinner parties and alienate anyone who doesn’t share those same dreams.”

The plot is based on writer Erin Foster’s own life – she converted to Judaism before marrying her Jewish husband, Simon Tikhman. She has since responded to the criticism, telling the Los Angeles Times that her aim is to show “positive Jewish stories”, adding: “I think it’s interesting when people focus on, ‘Oh, this is a stereotype of Jewish people,’ when you have a rabbi as the lead.”

It’s a half-baked response, in my view, and one that does a disservice to Jewish women who deserve the same heartwarming, empathetic on-screen representations as Jewish men. Without that, well, it’s hard not to see it as a bit sexist. And that’s a real shame.