The Meghan and Harry drama is just like Brexit – there’s no cherry picking and it’ll all end in tears

Megxit is turning out to be more than a bit like Brexit. It has become apparent that there is no soft version of either after all, no happy halfway house, no grand compromise that would allow all sides to have their cake and eat it. You’re either in the EU or you’re out, so far as Britain is concerned; you’re either royal or you ain’t, in the case of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. It ends in tears. The only thing left are the recriminations, and to sort out who gets the blame.

Being as there’s no such body as the Supreme Court of Right Royal Feuds to adjudicate on such matters, the arguments are being played out in the tabloids and the court of British public opinion, renowned for their tenderness, even-handedness and rationalism. These debates will also, by their very nature, become infected with conspiracy theories and go on for ever and ever.

There are still people out there, after all, who believe that Diana was murdered, who still mourn the abdication of Edward VIII and think the Windsor dynasty are reptilian beings from another world. OK, the last one’s always been arguable, but these legends are all endlessly recycled, and often as not referenced whenever the Sussexes appear in the headlines, which sadly they are destined to for the rest of their lives – and beyond, even when Covid-19 and Brexit are long forgotten.

From what I’ve seen of the curiously named Finding Freedom, a book which puts the Sussexes’ case with suspiciously well-informed partisanship, we’re now well into blame game territory. I’d quite forgotten that Megxit was still at the “pilot scheme” stage, to see how things were coming along. It seems there is no way back to royal “normality” for Harry and Meghan. Their quarantine, though comfortable, is permanent.

For all the fuss about the “dramatic revelations”, there’s not that much that’s new here. William advised his younger brother to take his romance with Meghan slowly, which may or may not have been taken as an insult, but probably wasn’t meant to be. He did after all not rush into things himself, as “waity Katie” found to her frustration. Kate apparently resented the extra work she’d have to do once Harry and Meghan cleared off. Fair enough, but we all have to make sacrifices. It seems small beer at any rate, compared to a global pandemic – 60,000 excess deaths, the sharpest recession in 300 years, three million jobless and cold wars with the EU and China.

But we all enjoy a little escapism, which of course brings us back to the main characters. To borrow a phrase, they quite rightly wanted to escape the predations of the British media and its appalling habit of twisting and lying about everything they do. Understandably they wished to use whatever fame and talents they possess to do some good. They’d like to make their own way in the world, but not be ostracised from friends and family. In Brexit terms, they wanted to take back control over their sovereignty and their borders. They wanted to cherry pick.

I happen to think they were quite right to want a private life and to try and modernise the institution of monarchy; but it was impractical.

In the end they could not “cherry pick” after all. The Sussexes have managed to land themselves in the worst of all worlds. Not in the sense of having to apply for Universal Credit or for Rishi’s £10 meal deal to help go out for the evening, but deeply unsatisfactory from their point of view. Lacking any official security, they are tormented by the paparazzi more than ever, they are spied on by drones, the papers print whatever they like and they are “fair game” just as any Hollywood or reality show celebs are. They can try to sue the press, but it’ll do them no good, win or lose. The incentives are too great, and ever more so the colder the commercial climate grows and the temptation to sensationalise intensifies.

On the other side, they are no longer playing the kind of role in charity and official business they once did. They have been, so far, much less successful in this than Diana was. Their anomalous position means they can’t do what they used to do in Britain or the Commonwealth, or at least not so seamlessly in conjunction with the Palace, government and the armed forces.

The Sussexes then find themselves in limbo, and often enough a luxury lifestyle version of purgatory. It all has an air of impermanence about it. The best thing might be for them to live a more modest, anonymous, life, renouncing all their inherited or acquired celebrity. But even if they tried, the world wouldn’t choose to forget them, and would always be curious about them. The title of the latest book about them is apt – for, in their own terms, they probably never will find freedom.