Poor Matt Hancock, this is not at all the superhero ending he imagined

Matt Hancock was asked by reporters last night if he had seen Dominic Cummings’s evidence before the Commons health and science select committees. He had not. The health secretary was, he explained, too busy “saving lives”. Poor Matt, he has obviously misunderstood the Spider-Man meme. “Yes, that’s me,” one imagines him grinning, “a superhero. A real-life superhero in a mask – saving lives.”

By now, however, Matt Hancock will no doubt have seen the comments by the prime minister’s former chief adviser. If not the full, seven-hour box-set edition, then at least the highlights, most of which involved him, the amazing Spider-Man. All over the papers, too, Matt. Lead story in The Daily Bugle. Slight hitch, though. Unfortunately for Matt Hancock, Cummings was not at all interested in the bit when the superhero starts saving lives. This was, if you like, the origin story. And they are never pretty.

Cummings was ruthless as he sketched the making of this superhero. “Hancock” – for Cummings did not deem him worthy of a first name – should have been fired for “at least 15 to 20 different things, including lying to everybody on multiple occasions in meeting after meeting in the cabinet room and publicly”. The Department of Health which, lest we forget, is run by “Hancock” was a “smoking ruin”. “Hancock” was (is?) “incredibly stupid”. And finally, confirmation from Cummings that “there’s certainly no good reason for keeping him”. Just in case we hadn’t yet grasped the point.

For a superhero, this will have been uncomfortable viewing. Not at all in the script. Up until this point, you see, the movie had a strong narrative arc. All the way back in March last year, things were very difficult for Matt Hancock. The country was on the brink of crisis and so was he. But – or so the story goes – Matt Hancock pulled himself together, he gritted it out, he had a little cry (was that the moment when the tide began to turn?) and then he went on to save the world (or at least some lives).

Now, it seems, we know the awful truth. We have seen the man behind the mask – and he is, at least according to Cummings, an incompetent liar, whose errors resulted in catastrophic loss of life. Matt Hancock’s spokesman “absolutely” rejected the claims, but Labour are saying he should go. Matt Hancock’s fairytale ending lies in tatters. To borrow a phrase from somewhere, it is a smoking ruin.

And perhaps the saddest part of all this was that the day had started so well for Matt Hancock. He was spotted out running in his favourite England cricket shirt and he seemed as chirpy as a chaffinch. “Get out there and get your vaccine,” he told reporters, before trotting off. “Are you worried about Dominic Cummings giving evidence today, Mr Hancock?” someone hollered after him. But he was gone. Just like that. Nothing but a wave over the shoulder. Lives to save, chaps, lives to save. Today, alas, it is more a case of: a job to save, chaps, a job to save.

But could there be a twist? Have we been too quick to write our superhero off? Make no mistake, Matt Hancock is not done yet. “I’ll be giving a statement in the House of Commons tomorrow and I’ll have more to say then,” he explained.

Well, tomorrow is now today and Matt Hancock has a chance to take revenge on his nemesis. Will he go for the kill? Or, with a wave of the hand, will he rise above it all and carry on saving lives? Find your seat, grab the popcorn, and settle down for the final chapter.