Letter: Desperate parents suffer too

Address Supplied
Saturday 02 November 1996 19:02 EST
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

We have an Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) child, who also has the more severe condition Oppositional Defiant Disorder ("Drug him when he teases", 27 October). Now 15, he has been taking Ritalin for three years. It has turned our life around. In the past three years I have had to physically restrain him only a dozen times, not four or five times a day.

The apparently dysfunctional parenting found in some ADHD families is almost invariably a result of the ADHD, a desperate way of coping with an overwhelming and rarely understood problem, not the cause of the condition. You also find dysfunctional parents of epileptic children: it doesn't mean that epilepsy is caused by bad parenting. ADHD children need different parenting: so do diabetics, epileptics, haemophiliacs and children traumatised by war. Do we blame the parents for the different behaviours these children exhibit? Manyneed medication of various kinds. Is that a moral issue?

If ADHD is caused by bad parenting, why do our son's birth parents (he is adopted) and four of his genetic siblings also suffer from the condition (our son had no contact with his birth family until after he was diagnosed), but our other three children do not?

Name and address supplied

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in