Letter: Love counts for much more than biology

Mr David Cox
Wednesday 19 May 1993 18:02 EDT
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Sir: I was interested to read the interview with a man suffering from infertility (12 May). I was in a similar situation but am now a father of two boys, both born with the help of donated sperm. Although it would have been nicer to have been able to be a biological father, it isn't so bad in practice. The gentleman in your interview seemed very anxious and depressed. I am grateful that I have two lovely sons whom I love very much. I doubt I would love them any more if we were biologically related. After all, there are plenty of biological parents who have little contact with, or commitment to, their children.

I don't feel I'm any less the parent compared with my wife just because she is biologically related to my sons and I'm not. After all, as has been confirmed by those working in infertility treatment, children born by AID (artificial insemination by donor) realise they are very much wanted children.

To consider adoption in order to put both partners in the same situation wouldn't be fair on the woman or the child. I'm glad my sons have a biological mother even if not a biological father. They are at least still related, and I wouldn't want to deny my wife the right to bear children.

I see myself as an equal parent: the only part I missed out was impregnating my wife. The important part of parenthood is the work you put into bringing up the child. The person who only donates the sperm or an egg is just that, a donor.

Yours sincerely,

DAVID COX

London, SE27

14 May

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