Letter: Forgiveness can be dangerous
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.I MISSED the original letter of 8 August about forgiveness and child sexual abuse. However, I wholeheartedly agree with KA Rutter (Letters, 15 August) regarding the perpetrator's responsibility to repent, change and even offer restitution (perhaps by paying for therapy fees of the victim/survivor).
I run an organisation called Christian Survivors of Sexual Abuse (CSSA). It amazes me how many Christians see "forgiveness" as a healing tool both for the victim and the perpetrator. But forgiveness can be dangerous. Some Christian communities have "forgiven" abusers to the extent that they are allowed free rein in churches without regard to the risks to children. This happens because the act of forgiveness is seen as therapeutic and there is a belief that if someone says sorry this must automatically mean they are healed.
At the CSSA our priority is for victims/survivors not to take on responsibility for their abusers but to cherish themselves. Those who ask us to forgive have no idea of the terrible ordeal we have undergone and want simplistic closing of a nasty subject. They ask us to forgive because they do not want to hear our story: forgiveness is a tool to keep us quiet.
MARGARET KENNEDY
CSSA, London WC1
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments