Letter: Divorce can be good, for parents and children

John Piper
Saturday 11 October 1997 18:02 EDT
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Hester Lacey's excellent piece on divorce could also have stressed the advantages of being the child of separated parents. The main one is independence. Since the family is dysfunctional, it is far less binding and duty ridden. Parents are unable to present a united front, thus teaching you much earlier to make up your own mind from a variety of diverse points of view.

Divorced parents help to liberate their children from the notion that relationships are the main purpose of our existence.

Since neither of my parents could understand why I was upset when they separated, I had to fight to gain confidence in my own perspective. Later, since their collective guilt was never acknowledged, their position on what I should do was immeasurably weakened. So now, as then, I do what I want. They are both dead now and I loved them both. But I found my role models elsewhere.

John Piper

Midhurst, West Sussex

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