The UK’s top judge had the audacity to criticise Tory austerity – and nobody's listening

Fed up with the way the elite’s been carrying on? Just wait until you hear this: we’ve discovered that Britain’s most senior judge is among the cappuccino quaffing, north London liberals who are bringing this great nation down.

Lady Hale, president of the Supreme Court, proved she’s nothing less than an enemy of the people when she laid into the effect of austerity on families, women, disabled people and minorities in a speech about human rights and family life to the Isle of Man Law Society.

You might need to lie down before you read what this venomous liberal harridan said in her talk. Get a load of this: “We should not forget that other families are fighting for enough to live on and to make ends meet. The UK government’s austerity policies have undoubtedly made this worse and have posed some uncomfortable problems for the courts.”

Does she not realise that women aren’t allowed to have opinions in Brexit Britain unless they’re prepared to put on a leotard, pick up a pair of red, white and blue pom-poms and start cheerleading for Jacob Rees-Mogg or Boris Johnson to become the next prime minister?

Highlighting the impact of a Tory policy on all those groups must mean she’s a member of the liberal mafia. It’s political correctness gone mad. What on earth were the tabloids doing when this came out? Did Ariana Grande have a date or something?

That judge needs to do some serious learning. She needs to understand that it’s only rich white guys like the Jaco and Bozza who have it tough in these parts. At the rate we’re going they’ll only make up half the House of Commons by the start of the next century.

Worst of all she’s a judge. A judge! They’re not allowed to have opinions, and especially not when they’re informed by facts like witnessing the brutal impact of a policy in the courtrooms of Britain every day. Even the blokes who wear them funny wigs are supposed to keep schtum.

If they get people who have so little that they can’t pay their TV licences, or their bills, or who nick food from Asda to make sure their kids have got enough food to eat, she and her pals should just damn well do their jobs and send them to jail so we don’t have to listen to them whinging about how hard they have it thanks to the introduction of Universal Credit.

Some of those places are like luxury spas anyway. I hear the best ones are down to three to a cell, and they have toilets and showers that lags can use a couple of times a week. For goodness sake, they even let them out of their for an hour a day.

So enough with the bleeding hearts. It’s time for Lady Hale to get with the programme or sling her hook.

If she doesn’t we’ll dispatch the "yellow vests" down to her place to sort her out. It’ll give them something to do now the Met are threatening to get involved at Westminster the next time they stop just short of assaulting Anna Soubry or Owen Jones before telling them that they’re Nazis. Or when they liken Femi Oluwole to David Lammy even though they’re about as similar in looks as I am to Brad Pitt.

What’s that? They don’t have her address? Sigh. Just tell them to get off the London tube at Angel or Highbury & Islington and head for Upper Street. She’ll surely live in one of them posh town houses around there.

But make sure you get them down there soon, because if we allow a woman judge to take a stand for decency and common humanity we’ll soon have to put up with people banging on about taking action on poverty and giving homes to people who sleep on the street.

That’s the last thing we need when we’re trying to Make Britain Great Again!