Keir Starmer is smart not to call for Boris Johnson’s head just yet – he’s Labour’s secret weapon

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, in amongst our Groundhog Day pandemic and the constant Covid pings and the general tumult, that Sir Keir Starmer, leader of “Her Majesty’s opposition”, as he pointedly put it during his TV broadcast, hasn’t actually called for the actual resignation of your actual Boris Johnson. He’s said that the PM is unfit to lead the country, he’s not up to the job, that he’s the worst possible leader at the worst possible time, and similar, but has not explicitly, in terms, called for the prime minister to stand down.

This is smart. Starmer knows that Boris Johnson is an enormously valuable asset for the Labour Party. In the Brexit-Corbyn era he was undoubtedly a great campaigner and the Tories’ wonder weapon. Now, unable to get through a day without provoking a constitutional emergency, he is a gift from the gods for the opposition parties. He divides his own party, he appalls the public, he has the whiff of decay about him that attracts rivals to circle – he thus destabilises his own government and just blunders from crisis to crisis. The only way he knows he can escape one crisis is just to create a new one, which is very tiring for all concerned.

He is one of those liars who creates a web of deceit so complex that he sometimes accidentally tells the truth, and then has to invent a new lie just to make sure his reputation for deceit remains intact. He performs badly in the polls, in real-world elections, he has single handedly revived the Labour Party and the Liberal Democrats, and he is secretly beloved by Nicola Sturgeon. Why would Starmer want rid of him?

If Starmer had followed the Jeremy Corbyn playbook, dread thought, then the Tory party would now be, formally at least, united behind their hapless idiotic leader. Johnson would by now have won the inevitable Commons vote of confidence, Corbyn’s shouty complaints and unsteady arguments letting the side down again. Johnson would have won such a vote easily, and his solid majority would serve to remind his fretful followers exactly who won the 2019 election. (The SNP tried the same performative trick of tabling a no confidence motion, but no one noticed, so it didn’t count). In this parallel universe, every time Corbyn or Rebecca Long-Bailey yelled that Johnson must go, Tory MPs and cabinet colleagues who despise Johnson would be forced to say the prime minister is doing a jolly good job in difficult circumstances. The crisis, so far from dragging on, would be over.

So Starmer has got it right, again. He makes clear how awful Johnson is for the country, and exploits the hypocrisy and his unpopularity, but avoids the tactical blunder of calling for his resignation. He just steps back and watches as the Tories indulge in their favourite hobby – plotting and fomenting civil war. Far better for Starmer to park himself next to pictures of the family and a great big Union Jack and remind the public that Labour is a patriotic party, and the national flag doesn’t belong to any political group exclusively. Two can play at culture wars, and the right needn’t always win them.

In fact, Starmer and his magically stronger front bench have manoeuvred themselves into a win-win position. If Johnson does go – and the end could arrive more quickly than many realise – then that’s a scalp and the Tories will sink further into disarray, for a while. They might even lumber themselves with someone even worse. There is, though, the risk that they’ll end up with someone the public is happy to trust and is good at the job, and their recovery begins. The rather obvious thing to bear in mind in all this is that there will still be a Tory government with a substantial majority and its policies will be broadly the same. Getting rid of Johnson won’t put Universal Credit back up again.

The other, bigger, win is if Johnson chucks a few press officers and cronies overboard, offers a non-apology, and saves his own skin because, as Johnson correctly judges, people such as Simon Case, the cabinet secretary, and Lord Geidt, the independent adviser on ministerial conduct, are just too timid, too polite and too establishment-minded to bring Johnson down. So Johnson blunders on and on, manufacturing fresh scandals, distracted by his money problems, refusing to change his ways because he doesn’t know how to or want to, aimlessly sloganising, losing real elections, dividing his party, provoking endless rebellions, all the while extending Labour’s lead and selflessly making Starmer look like the prime minister the country needs.

In the end, the national interest will be served when Johnson leads the Conservatives into their worst defeat since 1997. So, as I’ve said before, please just everyone leave Boris, aka Labour’s secret weapon, alone.