As a cancer survivor, this is what I want the Princess of Wales to know

If I could write a letter to Kate Middleton after watching her powerful video about finishing her chemotherapy treatment, this is what I’d want to her to know: that her cancer message is moving, powerful, important and timely.

Watching the poignant footage made me cry. Seeing the Princess of Wales and her precious family enjoy the beautiful North Norfolk woods and beaches that I also love moved me deeply. And her carefully chosen words echo very many of my own feelings about having cancer.

She says her diagnosis was scary. Like her, I was terrified. When I was first told I had breast cancer in September 2021, I thought I would die. I was distraught at the thought that I’d leave my husband and two teenage children behind. I’m sure Kate had similar nightmarish thoughts about William, George, Charlotte and Louis. But my doctors were optimistic, and so far, touch wood, it seems as though they were right to be. I am keeping everything crossed that she, too, has the happy ending she deserves.

In a week where supermodel Elle Macpherson boasted of using “woo” to cure her cancer (while skipping over the surgery that actually cured her), it was important to hear Kate speak so openly and positively about her chemotherapy. For me, a mixture of chemotherapy and miraculous modern drugs eliminated every trace of my ferocious disease before I even got on the operating table. Like the princess, I feel extraordinarily lucky and grateful to have received state-of-the-art cancer treatment.

I was also very happy to hear Kate say that her cancer had given her a “new perspective on everything” and a renewed focus on the “simple yet important things in life”. Because that’s been my experience, too. For me, as for her, the unexpected joy of cancer was discovering what she described as the “simple yet important things in life”, “of loving and being loved”.

I often tell people that a cancer diagnosis can be a wonderful opportunity to learn just how much people love you. They naturally worry that you might die, which heightens emotions. Sometimes they cry, which could be awkward, but I chose to see it as a manifestation of love.

They send you flowers and cards. Take you for lunch and tea. Hug you a bit harder. You can go through most of your life without experiencing this outpouring of feeling. How often do people at funerals say the deceased, “would be surprised to see how much they were loved”? Well, I feel immensely fortunate to already know.

My relationships are deeper for cancer. My husband and our three children – my son, daughter and stepdaughter – went through cancer with me and showed stoicism, strength and optimism that lifted me whenever I was at risk of succumbing to despair.

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My husband – like Prince William – took over at home, drove me to every appointment, cooked whatever I felt like eating and if I felt a need to escape London on a whim and head to a beach or the country, would drop everything to take me.

Teenagers get a bad press, but they can be the best company. They are funny, passionate and often see the world in a refreshingly different way. I watched film marathons with my son, then 19 – and, with my daughter, then 16 – spent hours in art galleries, discovered Fortnum’s perfume department and the joys of afternoon tea.

During long chemotherapy sessions, I’d often book a future treat while hooked up to the drip. It might have been an exhibition, dinner, a trip to the beach, or simply a dog walk in the woods or coffee with a friend.

Like Kate, I am more grateful for simple things. To stave off dark thoughts during my treatment, I began to deliberately count my blessings every morning and was surprised how many there were. I may not be as wealthy as a princess, but I am lucky to have a comfortable bed, a safe home, good friends – and simply to be alive and able to see the sky and flowers. I found I looked forward to wisteria blooming like a child looks forward to Christmas.

Kate also says her focus now is on keeping cancer at bay, which is an important message.

In most cases, a nasty diagnosis like ours is simple bad luck. However, some cancers, such as breast cancer, have a nasty habit of coming back. While I’m aware of that, I’m quite good at pushing the thought away. However, a growing body of evidence shows that exercise can help prevent cancer, reduce side effects from treatment and even stop it recurring, so you will find me in the gym most days. Adopting a healthier way of life also tends to make you happier.

I obviously don’t recommend cancer to anyone. On Trip Advisor I’d give it one star. But for all the fears, the rigours of treatment, the side effects and physical scars that cancer has left me with; three years on, I’m more optimistic, more patient and a better, more direct communicator with people I care about. Cancer has given me a greater appreciation for the people I love – and in many ways my life is better than it was before I was diagnosed.

After hearing Kate’s words today, I believe that she, too, will find that life has an even greater lustre than before. There is kinship in cancer. I have met people I would otherwise never have known. We all walk hand in hand with the princess and wish her the happiness and health that she wishes for us.