If you think Muslims are behind the latest bacon cancer warning, you'll be terrified at what else we're up to

Here are five Muslim conspiracy theories that are too ridiculous to be true – or are they?

Hanna Yusuf
Wednesday 28 October 2015 12:44 EDT
Comments
"From President Obama’s secret life as a Muslim, to Fox News’ revelation that there are no-go zones for non-Muslims in Birmingham, Muslim conspiracy theories are as weird as they are popular."
"From President Obama’s secret life as a Muslim, to Fox News’ revelation that there are no-go zones for non-Muslims in Birmingham, Muslim conspiracy theories are as weird as they are popular." ( HAIDAR HAMDANI/Getty)

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The World Health Organisation (WHO) recently revealed that processed meats, such as bacon and sausages, cause cancer. As many may know, eating pork is forbidden in Islam. And according to some Twitter users, this coincidence can only mean one thing: a "Radical Muslim Conspiracy". Irrespective of the fact that Jews, Hindus, vegetarians and vegans don’t eat pork either, angry anti-Muslim conspiracy theorists took to twitter to explain Islam’s apparent role in influencing the WHO.

The latest anti-Muslim conspiracy is by no means the first. From President Obama’s secret life as a Muslim, to Fox News’ revelation that there are no-go zones for non-Muslims in Birmingham, the theories are as weird as they are popular.

Since there seems to be a great market for these theories, I thought I would throw in a few of my own. Here are five conspiracy theories that are too ridiculous to be true. Or are they?

1. Kermit the Frog has converted to Islam

Kermit just before he discovered Islam
Kermit just before he discovered Islam (Getty)

The real reason behind Kermit and Miss Piggy’s break-up was the former’s embrace of Islam. Kermit, who now prefers to be referred to as Quermit Al-Furog, converted shortly before they broke up over "irreconcilable differences". Quermit’s refusal to eat pork was the last straw for Miss Piggy.

2. Lindsay Lohan is infiltrating Hollywood on behalf of the Muslim Brotherhood.

Huge if true
Huge if true (John Phillips/Getty Images)

Li-Lo was recently spotted holding a Koran. This comes a few years after she played a character in Mean Girls, Cady Heron, who was home-schooled in Africa – a majority Muslim continent and also the home of the Muslim Brotherhood.

3. All hipsters are secretely terrorists.

A picture taken for the photoshoot of the Bearded Villains in Sweden, who were mistaken for Isis terrorists
A picture taken for the photoshoot of the Bearded Villains in Sweden, who were mistaken for Isis terrorists (Jason Mellström, Studio Mellström)

Their furiously full beards and frighteningly flowy shirts just reek of Sharia. How are they still walking around freely? #CreepingHipsteria

4. The Vatican is actually owned and run by Muslims

Didn't you know?
Didn't you know? (Franco Origlia/Getty Images)

Forget what you learned in RE, have you ever visited the place? If your shoulders or knees are on show you are forced to wear a plastic cloak. Can you believe this is happening on European soil?

5. Eating Halal meat turns you into a Muslim

If you've ever eaten one of these chickens, you're already a Muslim
If you've ever eaten one of these chickens, you're already a Muslim (Rex)

No, it’s true. The way the nutrients in halal meat regroup causes the male body to grow a full beard within 24 hours, and the female body to grow a headscarf. I fell victim to this a few years ago but it’s not too late for anyone reading this. Save yourselves!

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