Harvey Weinstein tried to silence me – here’s how I’m campaigning to help end abuse against women

Twenty-two years ago, after learning my colleague had been the victim of an attempted rape, I walked into a law firm to report a crime.

Within a month, my naive expectations of justice had been crushed and I had signed a confidentiality agreement to stop me speaking about the incident. My silence was in return for a list of stringent clauses to stop Harvey Weinstein’s abusive behaviour, or so I believed. However, what I had not realised was how much this silence would cost me, my colleague and the many other women to follow us.

Silence is corrosive. Being gagged from speaking freely, from acknowledging traumas and owning one’s own past is itself a violation. This sent me into five years of self-inflicted exile and precipitated two suicide attempts by my colleague. On a larger scale, it gives those who abuse their power the ability to continue doing so, free from censure or consequence.

Two years ago I broke that confidentiality agreement with Weinstein with the hope that others would come forward, emboldened by the outpouring of the #MeToo movement. In doing so an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders. Finally claiming the freedom to speak, and seeing my sense of right and wrong at last being validated was empowering in a way I had never imagined.

But the work of #MeToo is not finished. That’s why, this Sunday, I will be in Canterbury canvassing for Rosie Duffield alongside activists from the Women’s Equality Party, including WE co-founders Sandi Toksvig and Catherine Mayer and their leader Mandu Reid.

Rosie holds the Labour constituency of Canterbury with a majority of just 187 votes. Despite her impeccable record – voting against austerity and to protect the NHS, calling out antisemitism in her party, advocating for proportional representation and campaigning for equality – she is in danger of losing her seat.

Like the women who spoke out against Weinstein, Rosie is also a silence breaker. She did something groundbreaking when she stood up in the House of Commons and told her own story of domestic abuse. Her speech was moving, powerful and, in the best possible way, deeply transgressive.

We live in a world in which women are underrepresented in positions of power in almost every sector. Many still believe women are “too emotional” to be reliable and women who do achieve public prominence are often the targets of a barrage of abuse and intimidation. As a result, women are taught to avoid vulnerability or displays of emotion. God forbid we cry in public.

However, when it comes to talking about the violations we have experienced, this is a catch-22. Those who consider coming forward, whether through the courts or the media, are warned of dire consequences – their lives will be dissected, their motives questioned, their reputations smeared. And yet, in the midst of an epidemic of violence that is largely tolerated and ignored, the cost of meaningful action is usually for individual women to offer up their most private traumas publicly.

Rosie Duffield did this, with quiet dignity and real heart, in the middle of parliament – one of the most notorious boys’ clubs in the UK. By doing so she chipped away a little more space for others like her to be heard. That is also what the Women’s Equality Party has done, by campaigning to end abuse in Westminster and make ending violence against women a political priority. It has stood fantastic women – all survivors of male violence – as candidates to ensure this issue can no longer be ignored. It is canvassing for Rosie Duffield because she is a torchbearer for silence-breakers and parliament will be a better place if she is returned to it.

After her speech Rosie was called “brave” by colleagues and commentators alike. That single word reveals how far we still have to go. We consider speaking out brave because history has shown we are right to fear doing so. Kate Maltby was smeared in the press when she accused Damian Green of harassment. So was Jasvinder Sanghera when she accused Lord Lester. Christine Blasey Ford was forced into hiding after testifying against Brett Kavanaugh.

But it should not require bravery just to state what has been done to you. We should be building a society in which women are free to speak out against abuses, knowing that they do so in a culture that favours justice and will not trample on them for doing what is right. We’ll know we’ve fully achieved the equality the Women’s Equality Party and Rosie Duffield are fighting for when speaking out about abuse no longer has to be a “brave” thing to do.