What do Harry Styles, Bruce Springsteen and Coldplay have in common?

One of the worst things about living in a country that aspires to be America’s BFF is that we’re usually the first place after America to follow suit when that country’s rapacious business community comes up with terrible ideas.

If, like me, you enjoy live music, I’ve got some bad news: Ticketmaster has exported what it euphemistically describes as “dynamic pricing”, but its customers would more likely term “royally screwing us”. I know, I know. You just saw the word “Ticketmaster” and you immediately thought “oh christ”. Is there any company less loved when we’re not in the middle of an energy crisis? Um… Ryanair? Maybe?

Dynamic pricing is actually very similar to what Uber describes as “surge pricing” (ugh) at busy times, such as when the pubs tip out. It means that if a show is hot as one of those sadistically spiced chili-laden “death” chips, the ticket price hitches a ride on one of Elon Musk’s rockets. If it’s more like a Tesco chicken korma, the advertised entry fee is what you’ll probably pay.

Dynamic pricing is now commonplace in the US, where it’s even been used by Bruce Springsteen. That’s right, the Boss! For younger readers who maybe haven’t heard of him, he’s the guy who made his name telling the stories of a forgotten America. The kids stuck in one-horse towns. The gambling addicts. The people facing getting kicked out of their homes after the factory shuts down.

Then there’s Coldplay. The stadium giants who say they want to save the planet (even if no one wants to admit to liking them in polite company). Even Harry Styles is at it. A man who is, we are told, both smokin’ hot and a super nice guy with it. A neat trick that. Shame about the acting (see the reviews for Don’t Worry Darling). Is that why the pricing for his shows is “dynamic”? So he has a nest egg for when he’s no longer such a heartthrob?

Fans who’ve decided to keep the heating turned down to free up a £100 or £150 for their hero(es) – before transport, grossly overpriced food, drink and maybe some merch – have sometimes been left heartbroken when the price turns out to be two or three times what they expected. This has been billed as a way to stamp out ticket touts who rip off the public, so the money goes to the artist rather than profiteers with tech-savvy partners.

However, what the artists seem blithely unaware of is that the practice turns them into the tout, and that touts can now easily be chased off by banning resales unless they’re done at face value through an approved site, less a commission. Yes, tours are risky ventures, but have been capable of generating enormous wealth before dynamic pricing was even possible. As for the argument of supply and demand (I’m playing the free wheelin’ market forces devil’s advocate here) – do we see the same kerfuffles in other markets where there’s a premium? What about the price of fancy burgers, or sneakers?

The latter is worth exploring. I’m not an expert in what’s too cool for school, but I did find that a pair of Nike Air Max 95s will set you back £170 via the JD Sports website. They’re exclusive to the store. But wait, those same shoes are selling on eBay for £189.99, a mark-up of more than 10 per cent. Not too shabby, but small potatoes given the premiums charged on the secondary market for the hottest special editions. Sneaker fans can be every bit as obsessive as music fans and seem happy to pay top dollar for their passion, if that’s what it takes. Maybe we should all just cool down?

On the other hand, while Nike does have PR people who try to portray the company as your cuddly and lovable purveyor of awesome sneakers, it doesn’t try to pretend that it’s some kind of working-class hero (Bruce) or saviour of the planet (Coldplay) or proof positive that you can be a stone-cold super-hottie and the world’s nicest man with it (Styles).

Ticketmaster’s poor corporate rep among music fans is actually rather useful for these stars because here’s the truth: they’ll have had to sign off on this. As such, they run the risk in leaving a very sour taste in the mouths of their devoted fans, and of pricing the younger – and less wealthy – among them out of their shows entirely.

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A tour bearing the legend “tickets for rich people only” isn’t a particularly attractive proposition. There are also people like Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott (formerly of the Beautiful South) – who might not be mega-stars these days but can still sell out an arena or six – appearing on TV to explain that they’ve capped prices at £30 a pop because they can still make money at that level, lots of it, and they find the music industry’s greed distasteful in the middle of an economic squeeze. Hear, hear.

They might even be able to run through a set that doesn’t feature “Perfect 10” at that price. Well, maybe not. That would probably really piss their fans off whatever the price of the ticket.

But there is an answer, for those who aren’t fans of the estimable pair, but who still get their kicks from seeing music performed live. It’s the same one I ventured when I wrote a previous column on soaring arena-tour-price inflation: don’t buy into profiteering shows. Investigate cheaper options. They’re often more fun.

Acts not in the mega-star category regularly blow the roof off smaller venues at prices that might even leave room left for a T-shirt. Mind you, with what they’re asking for those these days…