What we can learn about Prince Harry from those who knew him before

Late at night, at a frontline military base near the town of Garmsir in Helmand, I was woken up by my colleague Bill Neely, saying, “It’s just broken about Harry, he’s here.” My befuddled response, rubbing sleep from my eyes, was, “Harry who?”

Harry was Prince Harry – and the news that had broken was that his presence in Afghanistan, kept secret in a deal between the Palace and the British media, had been exposed first by an Australian magazine and then the US website, The Drudge Report.

Bill (a redoutable journalist then with ITV) and I were at FOB ( Forward Operating Base) Delhi in spring 2008 where Harry was stationed at the time, serving as a forward air controller in missions against the Taliban. It was a job which, by all accounts, he was quite good at and enjoyed doing.

Harry’s deployment came to an abrupt and premature end with the revelation of his presence in Helmand. After consultations between the British government and the palace, the Ministry of Defence announced that he was being brought back to London for his own security – and the security of those around him – because they would be targeted by the insurgents.

Harry wanted to let us know he wanted to stay and regretted having to leave early. His comrades seemed sorry to see him go.

One of them, L/Cpl of Horse Chris Douglass, was not just churning out the party line when he said at the time: “It has been good him being here, a lot easier than I thought. He’s a very easy person to get along with. He has been one of the lads, very good actually, no one really cared about his background.”

Rifleman Ram Gurung (a Gurkha) thought, “he is professional, never asked for any special treatment, we taught him how to make a proper Gurkha curry among other things. He is a good soldier.”

The Helmand Task Force Commander, Brigadier Andrew Mackay, the Helmand Task Force Commander, wanted to point out that Harry, “has been deployed in the field for his entire time in theatre. He has shared the same risks, endured the same austerity and undergone the same moments of fear and euphoria that are part of conducting operations in this most complex of environments.

The story of Harry’s war led to acres of news coverage in the UK and also extensive coverage in some other Western countries. In Afghanistan itself, however, it was only of passing interest. There were other things to be concerned about.

There had been a debate among journalists over whether UK news organisations should have agreed to the news blackout about Harry’s Afghan deployment. It was certainly fanciful to think that with so many countries contributing to the international force in the country, his presence could be kept secret from the international media.

However, once his presence in Garmsir became known, there was no reason Harry could not have been based elsewhere in Afghanistan for the remainder of his tour. The fact that he could continue serving in the country was shown by the fact that as Captain Wales he returned there as an Apache helicopter pilot, four years later, without any attempt at a news embargo this time.

Prince Harry’s military career has featured in the new Netflix series with him and Meghan which has caused so much controversy, outrage and angst (real and faux), accusations and recriminations – and calls for retribution, including for them to be stripped of their titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

In one episode of the Netflix show, Prince Harry, who went on to serve for 10 years, spoke of how the military became his “ second family”. He wanted to stress that “working and living with normal people certainly has an effect on you, right? The bubble within the bubble that I was brought up in got burst.”

This, according to some critics, was another example of Prince Harry’s disloyalty to the royal family. He had also spoken of how friends in Lesotho “brought him up” when he was away from Britain. It is not uncommon for people who serve in the forces to think of aspects of it as a “family” and military culture encourages one to do so. And certainly, those who dealt with Harry in Afghanistan could see he relished doing his job, and was also at ease being away from the constraints of formal public life at home. The same attitude and focus can be seen in his role in the international Invictus Games for injured and ill former service personnel.

Harry spoke about this after his second Afghan tour in 2013 when asked about whether he was more comfortable being Captain Wales than a royal prince.

“Definitely, I’ve always been like that. My father’s always trying to remind me about who I am and stuff like that,” he said. “But it’s very easy to forget about who I am when I am in the army: everyone’s wearing the same uniform and doing the same kind of thing. I get on well with the lads and I enjoy my job. It really is as simple as that.”

His military career ended two years later. He left disillusioned, it was said, by the desk jobs offered to him.

The palace said in a statement: “The prince has had a fulfilling military career and considers it a huge honour to have served his country in the armed forces…”

Harry said, meanwhile: “After a decade of service, moving on from the army has been a really tough decision. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had the chance to do some very challenging jobs and have met many fantastic people in the process. Inevitably, most good things come to an end and I am at a crossroads in my military career. Luckily for me, I will continue to wear the uniform and mix with fellow servicemen and women for the rest of my life, helping where I can, and making sure the next few Invictus Games are as amazing as the last.”

Wearing military uniform, however, became an issue after the Duke and Duchess of Sussex stepped away from their public duties as senior members of the royal family and he lost his royal patronages and military titles. He was no longer Captain General of the Royal Marines, Honorary Air Commandant RAF Honington and Commodore-in-Chief, Small Ships and Diving, Royal Naval Command.

Harry appeared in civilian clothing for public occasions, including walking behind the Queen’s coffin when it was carried to Westminster Hall for lying in state. He had to be given special permission by King Charles for the vigil at his grandmother’s coffin. He wore the uniform of the Blues and Royals, but with the ER insignia removed.

The official links between Harry and Britain’s military have been severed as part of the process of him leaving his life in this country behind. Would things have been different if he had stayed with the army, the role which seemed to give him a sense of purpose? We will never know.

This is the time of year when some of us – journalists, military and diplomats, former and serving – have an Afghan reunion. Last year there was much bitterness about the Joe Biden-led Western retreat from Afghanistan with friends and colleagues abandoned to the Taliban.

Harry, with his service there, could have made his voice powerfully heard on this. Instead, it had to be a joint statement with Meghan. They felt “many layers of pain” about what was happening in Afghanistan, in a message which also wrapped in the earthquake in Haiti and the global health crisis and misinformation. “We are left heartbroken… we are left scared,” said the couple.

Harry has come up in conversation in arranging this year’s reunion. There is perplexity among some of his military colleagues about some of the directions his life has taken. But there is also support, affection and the bond of service.

One officer (now colonel) who knew Harry in Afghanistan said: “Harry served his country in a war – how many of these people popping up now and accusing him of being unpatriotic have done that?

“Many of us feel rather sorry about what’s happening. It’s not just old soldiers who fade away, young ones do so as well. Harry will fade away when this circus is over: we’re losing him, and that’s a shame.”