The Great Sex Experiment is a win for everyone in an open relationship

Close your eyes: now, what comes to mind when you think of a “happy, positive relationship”? If you immediately pictured two people holding hands, clearly in love, you’re probably not alone. But it’s time that image changed.

For too long, the typical symbol of successful relationships – in pop culture and elsewhere – has been firmly grounded in monogamy. Movies, TV series and even factual programmes have been based on the idea that the ideal partnership is one where two people (and only two) are exclusive partners.

But tonight, the latest episode of Open House: The Great Sex Experiment, airs on Channel Four. The new show with a bold concept sees committed, monogamous (at least, so far) couples sent away on a luxury retreat together. While they are there, they explore whether polyamory – including sex with other people – can strengthen their bond with one another.

For the unfamiliar, polyamory is an umbrella term for sex and relationship styles that are consensually non-monogomous. It doesn’t include cheating (that would be unethical non-monogomy), but some of the most well-known subsections include swinging (where couples have sex with multiple partners either together or individually as part of an organised activity), or open relationships (where each member of a couple has a relationship with someone else).

Ultimately, and to put it simply, “polyamory” covers myriad combinations and set-ups where individuals are having more than one consensual sexual or emotional relationship at the same time.

According to a YouGov poll, 75 per cent of Britons would consider trying an open relationship at some point. And across the pond, approximately one-third of adults say that their ideal relationship is non-monogamous to some degree.

For polyamorous people and those familiar with it, it’s a given that exploring your urges to meet other people may strengthen your bond or open you to new relationship opportunities.

Yet, unfortunately polyamorous people are often incorrectly viewed as a minority, and met with a lot of unjust social shame. Many are left with a warped perception of what polyamory really is – and what it can look like.

Mainstream media hasn’t exactly helped with this. TV and film gained an appetite for polyamory over the last few years, but until now, it hasn’t done the best job of representing it fairly.

The surface of polyamory was just about scratched in Schitt’s Creek when polyamorous character Jake dates characters David (Dan Levy) and Stevie (Emily Hampshire) separately – before inviting them into a “throuple”. Yet the pair both eventually break up with him, because they don’t want to be in a three-way relationship.

InThe Politician, polyamory is a significant subplot, but we don’t see much work on their actual relationship. Instead, it’s hinged to constant problems – and their relationship implodes. In all of these examples, polyamory is presented as greedy, as just being about sex, or the butt of the joke.

As a result of this misrepresentation (and other factors, such as Britain’s notorious lack of education on sex and relationships), many polyamorous people are subjected to unnecessary shame around their preferences.

There is more to polyamory than just sex, and those distinctions are important to explore. Not just for polyamorous people, but for everyone.

Thankfully, The Great Sex Experiment does this well, in episodes that deftly explore all the layers to polyamory from navigating your first threesome – including the emotional and logistical sides – to what it’s like to open up your relationship after years of monogamy.

It takes polyamorous seriously, and puts it to the test as a viable relationship style that could save a lot of people’s love and happiness. The show – importantly – shows how to practise non-monogamy consensually and safely, and it also captures the pitfalls.

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Polyamory is often presented as a be-all-or-end-all method that either saves or ends a relationship; a last resort for those who have somehow failed at “real loyalty”. But in reality, it’s not always a solution to a poor relationship at all. It is its own kind of relationship.

It’s almost liberating to see a mainstream TV show encapsulate the nature of being poly in all its facets: to see it reiterate how polyamory comes hand-in-hand with deep communication, discussion of boundaries, exploration, times where we need to work through jealousy, arguments – and every other relationship element usually seen in monogamy.

While, on the face of it, it’s “just” a fun reality TV show designed for entertainment, more mainstream representation like this that explores polyamory so openly and honestly has the potential for much greater things: to dismantle some of the shame and stigma poly people face, and to open viewers’ minds to new avenues of happiness.