Jeremy Corbyn accuses Boris Johnson of breaking his promise by still being alive

There appears to be no definitive answer to the question of whether, on Monday afternoon, Jeremy Corbyn became the first official leader of Her Majesty’s Most Loyal Opposition to accuse a sitting prime minister of breaking a promise to the country by not being dead.

But the answer, probably, is yes. There is also no definitive answer to whether the accusation made by Jeremy Corbyn was meant as a joke. But the answer, certainly, is that it wasn’t delivered as one. But then, it never is.

The House of Commons was voting on whether to have a general election in December. Obviously the House of Commons had already found a way to render its Brexit business for the day pointless and irrelevant.

For the motion to pass, a two-thirds majority would be needed, and Corbyn had instructed his MPs to abstain, so it stood almost zero chance of passing. The Labour benches were empty. Most hadn’t bothered returning from the weekend in their constituencies.

By the time Corbyn rose at the despatch box, eight full hours had passed since the EU had granted the UK the Brexit extension Boris Johnson had said he would never ask for but did, and also said he would rather be dead in a ditch than accept, but quite undeniably wasn’t.

In these eight hours, quite possibly upwards of a million people had pointed out to Boris Johnson on social media that the events that had unfolded were the very ones he had promised he would be dead in a ditch rather than see happen, but none of them did it with quite the jaw-dropping style of Jeremy Corbyn.

It was a lengthy and generally acceptable peroration on the subject of why Boris Johnson cannot be trusted.

“Having illegally prorogued parliament for five weeks for his Queen’s Speech, he now abandons that Queen’s Speech,” he said. He paused, and began rising through the gears of his full oratorical force.

“He got his deal through on Second Reading, then abandoned it.” Pause again. Little bit louder now.

“He promised us a Budget on 6 November, and then he abandoned that too!” At this point, his back benches might have roared with delight, but alas there was no one there.

“He said he would never ask for an extension! He said he’d rather die in a ditch!”

Pause.

“Another. Broken. Promise.”

The prime minister blew a baffled sigh out through his tremulous lips. What was he meant to say exactly? Here he was, being accused of not being dead. He had no answer at all.

Truly, a quote for the ages, that.

The prime minister said he would die and yet he lives! Who does he think he is? The people of this country expect him to be dead, and he has the temerity to come here today, both living and breathing.

Naturally, the election motion was voted down by a huge margin and, naturally, Boris Johnson responded by immediately tabling another one, to have an election on 12 December (but this one could, in theory, be passed by a simple majority).

MPs will vote on that tomorrow. It stands every chance of being amended up to its eyeballs and beyond, with votes for 16-year-olds, votes for EU nationals and all manner of other wheezes.

There will, in the end, however, at some point, have to be an election, and the people of the United Kingdom will be asked to choose between Jeremy Corbyn and Boris Johnson.

There have been more than enough big political events in recent years to confirm the peril of making predictions. No one knows anything.

But as things stand, unless the prime minister somehow keeps his ditch-related promise, Corbyn could be in trouble.