What no one tells you about the shame of being fired

I’ve just been fired. Well, that’s not strictly true: I was fired on Thursday last week, which came as a huge surprise. It was every bit as upsetting as I’d imagined it’d be, but it was also incredibly surreal: the big moments in life never feel quite as if they are truly happening.

Following a quick cry as I left the office, one thought stuck with me: why on earth aren’t more people talking openly about the experience of being let go?

What I’d like to say is that being fired is embarrassing and humiliating, but excitingly, being fired also taught me a lot of positive things about myself that I’ll take into the future. And these realisations have helped me better understand what I’ll need from future employers, and what I can offer them in return.

To work all that out, I began retracing my steps, revisiting key moments in the job in order to locate any red flags. My first realisation was that before I began, I had glossed over the essential things recruiters and jobs websites tell you explicitly not to do: I hadn’t asked as many practical questions as I needed about what was expected of me.

Had I asked for an in-depth run-down of what the first few months would entail, and followed up with more questions? Absolutely not.

The firing made me realise that, for many of us, clarity is essential but often overlooked due to time constraints, or a lack of organisation from the employer. I am not someone that can perform at my best immediately: I need some time to settle in, but the role I had been put in – I was told after I’d left – required me to be at my best from day one.

But rather than feel exasperated or upset at the fact I hadn’t succeeded in the role, I realised that given the situation, I had genuinely given this position my all. My current mental-health challenges lead to issues with confidence, and when coupled with a habit of overthinking things, I can take a little while longer to get up to speed than others. But that’s OK.

It’s OK because, in the future, I’ll find out what’s expected of me within the first week, then the first two weeks, then the first month and the first two months, so I’ll never pair myself with a job that ill fits my strengths again. Or a company’s: of course, it’s for the benefit of both parties that neither candidate nor employer rushes into anything, so love and embrace your weaknesses by telling your employers what they are.

If the job is right for you, good employers will employ you anyway. Plus, with conversations increasing around the challenges of mental health in the workplace, there’s not been a better time to air your fears. What have you got to lose?

I think the same rules about braveness and openness apply if the worst happens and you’re fired, like I was. Why? Because being fired is an opportune moment to embark on something new.

Some of us do our best work in times of pressure (remember uni deadlines?) so being fired may be the catalyst you need to realise another potential. In my case, I learnt that being pushed into uncomfortable situations can be creatively satisfying.

Like so many others, I have financial pressures, which means I need to find more work. I wouldn’t be blase about the horrendous situations being fired can put you in, but in my case, financial constraints have forced me to pitch to new editors, seek out different publications I haven’t written for before, and push into new territories I hadn’t previously considered.

I’m a journalist by trade, but I’m not afraid to work in a bar again to earn money, should the account balance take a dire turn. The comradery in bars among employees is often superb. But on a serious note, anything’s better than being in a job that doesn’t suit.

Check, check and check again before you take a role. Get confirmation that your boss understands the true you – not the you you’ve portrayed in a rushed interview. Check your skills match up, check you’ll get along in the pub. Then sign up with the quiet satisfaction you’ll never have to endure a sacking.

And if you do get sacked: what a treat! You’ve never had a better excuse to rethink everything and start again.