Diary: Tunnelling for the right figure

AT THE average public inquiry into motorway schemes there will always be a certain amount of juggling with figures about lead in petrol here, some deftness over likely traffic counts there. At one of the current batch of inquiries - a planned bypass near the interesting neo-Gothic chapel at Lancing College, Sussex - mutterings about dirty tricks can be heard from a principal opponent to the scheme, the school's geography master and director of studies, Tom Aubrey.

The scheme to run the bypass through protected downland near the college has been mooted for 20 years, but the planners finally became serious this week. So did Mr Aubrey, who has carried out a lengthy geography practical - the drawing of a plan for a three- quarters of a mile tunnel under the built-up area of Lancing.

It would only cost pounds 32.5m he tells me (the local district council's figure, based on an independent estimate). Not so, says the Department of Transport. Officials have come up with the figure of pounds 66.7m for the same route, which they say the council could not afford.

Mr Aubrey is dubious about the DoT figures because of the disparity and because they chose to go abroad (Austria) to get the estimate. 'I'm very worried that the DoT has no interest in providing the best costs for the construction of my route,' he said.

A DoT spokesman riposted: 'If he can build the same road so cheaply, we'd be very interested to know how.'

FOLLOWING his bravura at Brighton, the gods are clearly smiling on the maritime features of Labour's Transport man John Prescott. It was not always so. His entry in Who's Who lists his one book, published in 1966: Not Wanted On Voyage.

SHERLOCK'S HOMES

American and other tourists descending on the Abbey National offices in Baker Street in search of the former home of Sherlock Holmes (commonly thought to be No 221b) are doomed to disappointment. They forget that Holmes only lived through the pen of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

What they should also know is this: Conan Doyle himself was never quite sure where his hero was supposed to live. According to Grace Riley, director of the Sherlock Holmes museum in Baker Street, the author placed Holmes and Dr Watson in four or five different sites. 'Once it was described as five minutes' walk from Oxford Street, another time as being just near Manchester Square,' she explained.

There are other misconceptions about Holmes: he smoked a straight pipe, not a curved one; he wore a plain grey cloth cap, not a checked cape and hat; he did not have Basil Rathbone's good looks - Conan Doyle described him as emaciated and bird-like, with a big hawk-nose. And, sad to note and contrary to many of the films, Holmes never uttered his catchphrase: 'Elementary, my dear Watson.' Holmes actually said 'elementary' on three occasions, and 'my dear Watson' on 34. But he never used them together.

ONE MEMBER of Jesus College, Cambridge is surviving on a small grant ( pounds 85 per annum). According to a Council minute, 'Corrie' needs the money for 'alimentary requirements.' Corrie is the college cat.

AUNTIE'S ABSENCE

Where was Valerie Singleton (presenter: 1962-1975) at Blue Peter's 35th anniversary bash? Is she still worried that her serious broadcasting image might be affected by her 'Auntie Val' past? Here is the BBC's apology for absence: 'I think the time of the festivities was changed and, since she was away beforehand, she never found out about the new arrangements.' Her agent's version: 'She had been in Holland for a week and her plane was late; she was due for a rehearsal for an awards ceremony at the Cafe Royal - which she simply could not miss. And what was name of the ceremony? 'Oh . . . some magazine or other.'

A DAY LIKE THIS

1 October 1915 Andre Gide writes in his journal: 'I almost left for England. I was already leaving the Theos' with my bag and steamer-rug; I had an appointment to meet Mrs Wharton tomorrow morning at the Gare du Nord. Henry James and Arnold Bennett were expecting me. Fortunately I enountered insurmountable difficulties at the Prefecture. Before getting my passport I have to go to the Invalides to regularise my military status; then to the local police station with two witnesses and my photograph; then to the British Embassy; then to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. And since there was not enough time for all these formalities, I suddenly found myself extraordinarily relieved to give up the project altogether.'