Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: I was stared at like a monster, pushed off the bus and told I was disgusting

Anecdotes and evidence seem to prove that harassment, abuse and discrimination against British Asians has recently become worse.

Those identified as Muslim complain that tension crops up every day of their usually unremarkable lives. Many British Muslims now find they are observed, commented on and insulted in ways that were far less obvious before. To be a Muslim today is to find oneself suddenly in the glare of blinding floodlights.

As Safia, a young graduate, wrote to me: "I had to stop covering my hair because I felt I was going mad. Some people were looking at me like I was a monster and one or two said that I was 'disgusting'. One man pushed me off the bus when I was waiting to get off. That was a bit frightening but the bus was slowing down. But then I realised that I was looking for hatred even when it wasn't there. I was looking around all the time, like a wild woman from some asylum. So, I thought, get anonymous. I now wear a wig like an Orthodox Jew. So now I look like Lady Porter and maybe they will leave me alone."

Safia's spirit is not yet crushed by these experiences. Other people are finding it harder and I know of at least two Muslim families, middle class and educated, who feel they have no future in Britain. Muslims have lost their jobs and one doctor at a London hospital tells me that his life has been made intolerable because his name is Osama.

There have been some physical attacks and many must go unrecorded. The worst examples I have heard of are at secondary schools. We know now how important it is for children to interact with each other. But Muslim and other Asian families with children at mixed schools are finding their children are being intimidated and attacked by white and black children who seem to think that this is now acceptable.

Over Ramadan, parents told me their children had been assaulted. Shahid, 13, is wearing an eye-patch because a gang of boys threw a firework at him saying it was a bomb. Relationships between Sikh, Hindu and Muslim pupils have also deteriorated as they blame each other for the unease they all feel. One mother said her daughter, 10, had stopped eating and wanted to die because her best friend, a Hindu, says she does not want a "terrorist" friend.

Pessimism can overwhelm at these times of social fragmentation. So can destructive self-righteousness and fanaticism, which is all too evident among some British Muslims who feel they should never be held to account for anti-social behaviour they condemn in others.

This is why it is vital to remember that so far there has not been the racist violence across the nation that so many feared. Political and religious leaders and individuals have behaved intelligently and responsibly, and millions of ordinary Britons have realised that unless we create ties that bind us, none of us will have the future we want for our children.