The Sketch: A minister who helps the Government meet its commitment to social inclusion
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Your support makes all the difference.Who Twigg? Why Twigg? Whither Twigg? In the hierarchy of useless questions (topped by: "Would Elizabeth Hurley like me if she met me?") the uselessness of these questions about Derek Twigg poses a useful question for political scientists. "What is politics about if there is a place for Derek Twigg on a government front bench?"
Who Twigg? Why Twigg? Whither Twigg? In the hierarchy of useless questions (topped by: "Would Elizabeth Hurley like me if she met me?") the uselessness of these questions about Derek Twigg poses a useful question for political scientists. "What is politics about if there is a place for Derek Twigg on a government front bench?"
He was moved in the post-election reshuffle, but not where he belongs (at the bottom of an oubliette, working out the modal shift correlatives in an integrated sustainability strategy). No, he's a Transport under-secretary. When he doesn't know what to say he says: "The objectives the Hon Member has outlined can be delivered within the existing framework." He said it twice yesterday. This is a partial defence to a charge of manslaughter so he should be careful.
Mr Twigg is what you get with modern politics. Without him, the Government couldn't meet its diversity targets. He represents all the gibbering depressives in our community who can't speak without reading off a civil service prompt sheet. It's a small minority but it demonstrates government commitment to social inclusion. It's also why we have John Prescott, incidentally.
The Conservative Party flopped about the House like a dying fish. Or Andrew Lansley did, at least. Mouth opening and closing. "The election campaign taught us many things," he began. Then he left a long pause,nodding meaningfully while members made satirical observations. Then he set out on a "Thomas Cook's tour of the NHS". He'd spent the election going round the country meeting people who worked in the NHS. Nurses. Doctors. They treated people. And, you know, it was surprising. Milton Keynes and so forth. Lancaster. And the impact of deficits. Community hospitals. From Cornwall to Crawley. And another thing.
An MP from one of these places broke into this pious reverie and caused laughter by reporting: "When he tried to get into the local hospital in my constituency, he wasn't allowed in!"
Mr Lansley replied: "If the honourable member is disparaging local people, I think local people will find that very surprising." And another thing. Sixty seventy seven per cent said there wasn't enough time to clean the beds between patients. Oh yes. Pilot projects. Targets. Up and down the country.
There is a terrific Tory case to be made against the government handling of the NHS. There's a terrific Tory case to be made in favour of the government handling of a part of it. Mr Lansley's treatment of this rich material aspires to the standard set by Mr Twigg. He has only a little further to go.
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