Simon Carr's Sketch: A daffodil in their buttocks for three billion pieces of information
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Your support makes all the difference.It couldn't be true, that 53 pieces of information would be required before booking a ticket into Britain. That was reported in the papers as a new anti-terror measure. David Heath cast doubt on it in Business Questions. He said it was 92 pieces of information. If this is the case, the executive is going mad. It may be going so mad that it starts dancing in the Mall with daffodils waving from its buttock cleft. Thirty million journeys a year in and out of Britain with 92 pieces of information for each trip. That's three billion pieces of information. They're talking about travel queues that stretch from here to Jupiter. They're talking about concrete fortifications that we had in the Second World War when we were expecting Nazi parachute troops in St James's Park.
They may have crossed a line. Hints of this are appearing in much of what they do. A farmer with 40 years experience (as Ben Wallace told us) has to take a course in how to hitch a trailer to his Land Rover. Calling someone a "spazzo" is to be a crime, a criminal offence, a hate crime (they're the worst, worse than rape, judging by the sentences). There aren't just one but three national databases of citizens (ID, NHS, Children) to take us from cradle to grave.
You think it might be worth sacrificing our liberties and our culture for the sake of seeing those daffodils waving? I'm sorry, you are a frivolous person. But the upturned buttocks of our political class? Kindly leave this column forthwith!
Theresa May came up with a good line. Now that is news. The Brown appointees have been attracting comment – Lord West and his 28-days debacle, Lord Jones attacking capital gains tax, Lord Malloch Brown wanting to talk more to Hizbollah and less to Washington. (Here it comes): "The Prime Minister's big tent looks more like a circus marquee." The essence of humour is surprise, so Ms May always has an advantage.
She asked about the extension to detention without charge. The Prime Minister told us his anti-terror plans on Wednesday without saying anything about this interesting proposal. Then the BBC headlines yesterday were all about 58 days. What about the big promise to announce these things in Parliament. "Oh, grow up!" Hatty said. If not in so many words.
She repeated the line about coming to a decision "hopefully on the basis of consensus" and I wondered why Gordon is doing this. He must have some evidence up his sleeve, mustn't he? If he hasn't why does he want the increase? Portraying the Tories as "soft on consensus" isn't much of a consolation is it? Maybe it is. Maybe it will allow him to do "strong" things later on. But when? Oh, around daffodil time, I'd say.
simoncarr@sketch.sc
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