Street harrassment: There are some things only a man can explain

The National Union of Students made me wonder last week with its campaign to tackle “lad culture”. It said that sexual harassment “is rife on campus”, where 37 per cent of women receive unwelcome sexual advances and two-thirds of students were aware of “unwanted sexual comments”.

There are two groups of people to whom this will be news: most men, who are horrified to hear that casual harassment of women happens a lot; and the minority who pester women and convince themselves it’s funny.

I recently had cause to think about how to handle street harassment when my husband told me about a friend being verbally abused. He was furious on her behalf, and asked why she hadn’t tried to “change his behaviour” by answering back. I laughed. Men who like to pick on women don’t do it when we have an opportunity to answer back. They do it when there are lots of them and one of us, and then they usually drive away laughing.

Handily, I had a chance to experiment with the “answer back” strategy the day after our conversation, when I was leered at incoherently while jogging. “What?” I said neutrally, slowing down. The men made kissing noises, sniggered and beckoned me closer. They were two big drunks, and I’d just run two miles uphill… Like toddlers, men like these are not emotionally mature enough to get a woman’s attention legitimately, so they get it by acting up instead. By reacting at all, I lost and they won. But what had they actually achieved? Any time I’ve asked a pest that question directly, he’s either gone all shy and driven off, or tried to punch me.

So I asked on Twitter, “Have any men out there ever catcalled solitary female joggers? I’d love someone to explain why”. Naturally, nobody admitted it, but one man told me he used to have a friend who did. “He was pretty insecure and this gave him a power kick,” he reckoned. I agree.

Let’s get one thing clear: these are not men saying, “I think you’re pretty and I’d like to know you better.” (And, for future reference, shouting “Show us your tits” and driving off has never in the history of humanity got the girl.) These are men trying to impress their mates by making a woman feel small and afraid. And if the woman can rarely do anything about it at the time, perhaps the mates could.

Most men do not have to shout sexual abuse at strangers in order to get female attention. Most men have something more interesting to offer. To those men, then, a plea. The NUS is calling on universities to challenge sexual harassment on campus and in our streets, but I call on decent blokes. If you can’t stop your mates from harassing women, then at least ask them why they do it, and please tell us, because we’d love to know: just what do they get out of being annoying cowards in front of all their pals?

Twitter: @katyguest36912