In this casual world of Tinder, saying “I love you” has become really difficult
Alison Taylor has had many an urge to tell her boyfriend yet didn't; couldn't
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Your support makes all the difference.Three friends, in the space of as many weeks, have all shared stories about the L-word. The delivery of those three simple words seldom runs smoothly.
Friend No 1 experienced an incident in which her boyfriend “accidentally” told her he loved her when they were “a bit drunk”. They'd not been together very long, they were standing in the street, and she panicked and pretended she hadn't heard him. “Awks”, as she put it. Then, a few weeks later – and again, drunk – she decided to tell him, and this time he didn't say it back. “Even though we were on our own, not in the street and he definitely heard it,” she said. “So now I'm in a weird limbo waiting for a sober 'I love you'...”
Friend No 2 uttered the words first in her relationship and also didn't hear it back straightaway. She maintains she said it not because she wanted to get an affirmative reply, but simply to “get it off her chest”. He said he was “nearly there” but didn't want to just bat it back. Fast-forward a couple of months (that's a long time to wait) and he did so by gesture, with flowers and everything.
The final friend found herself on the receiving end of “I love you”, after a tear-inducing row about exes. The subtext being, I care for you more than I did for those other women. It's a tricky area all round. I do wonder if now, in this super casual world of Tinder and being chronically non-committal, saying “I love you” has become really, really difficult?
I'm somebody who's not backwards at coming forwards. I'd had many an urge to tell my boyfriend yet didn't; couldn't. I even resisted telling him when I was drunk. So, I wrote it down in a card. I handed it to him and watched him read the words, heart in mouth. He looked up at me and simply said: “I've loved you for ages."
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