In Sickness and in Health: 'I'm really happy to be alive and to see Rebecca'

Last year, Rebecca’s husband, Nick, was hit by a car and seriously injured. Here, in one of a series of columns, she writes about the aftermath of his accident.

It’s my birthday today, and while I could do without carrying the ballast of another year, there are definitely some benefits to having limped through the past 12 months. The main one is, of course, Nick’s ongoing recovery. On my birthday last year I visited Nick in hospital where he was uncommunicative and unable to eat any of the cake that my friends and I brought with us. His loss, the other patients’ gain.

Things are so different for this birthday. I’ve just come back from a lovely lunch in the pub opposite the care home with my dad, stepmum and siblings. Nick sat at the head of the table and happily shared my food. He sent his mother and brother out on a present-buying mission for me, and keeps asking me if I’m having a nice birthday.

He’s also offered, since it’s a special day, to take this column off my hands for a week. So from here on in, Nick is at the helm, although I’ve translated his lovely, if garbled, speech, and done the typing, since even stabbing at a keyboard with two fingers like he used to do is beyond him (although if you spot any typos, they’re obviously his fault):

“It’s a rare chance that I get to write this column, so I’d like to say thank you to everyone who reads this and everyone who supports me. What Rebecca’s stepmother Helen, who gives me therapy, has done for me is really good, and I want to say thank you to her. I really want to get out of this place and I really want to go home. I love Rebecca so much. I’m a changed man – I appreciate life like I never did before. But in some ways I’m the same person inside, in my mind. I want to be with Rebecca more than ever.

“Sometimes I think it’s a horrible dream being here, and I wake up every day not believing that it’s real, but it is. It’s bad at night. No one ever asks me what I really want. Every night I have to go through the same process and no one seems to know what I want.

“I don’t remember anything before February this year. I don’t remember anything about the accident – it’s all gone. Rebecca has tried to make my room look like I have a home, and the good carers, the ones who are my friends, come in to my room to relax and see my things.

“It’s Rebecca’s birthday. I asked my mum and brother to get the present, I hope she likes it. I’d do anything for her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to change the way things are. I try so hard. It’s awful not being able to use my right hand. Everyone says that it’s great that I can move my left hand, but I’m right-handed.

“I’d love to spend more time with Rebecca but I know she has to work. I wish that I had the money to make things better for us. But I’m really happy to be alive, really happy to see Rebecca and I’m determined for the future – I even do my speech exercises by myself. Thank you for reading this, hopefully I will meet you all in person one day.

“Love from Nick.”