Grace Dent: Oh no! After Princes Harry and Andrew go, will there be any left to marry?
The better bet was Harry, but bookies believe he might be Cressida's
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.My search for a prince to marry has suffered serious setbacks over the weekend with engagement rumours surrounding both Prince Harry and Prince Andrew.
Harry – always my safer bet thanks to anecdotal evidence that he’s an easily led-astray drunk – took girlfriend Cressida Bonas to a rugby game this weekend leading bookies to slash odds of a wedding announcement to 8/13. Cressida, who resembles a delicate baby fawnlet who buys its clothes at yacht shows, is perfect Firm fodder. Cressida has a 1960s’ “It” girl mother – Lady Mary-Gaye Georgiana Lorna Curzon, daughter of the sixth Earl Howe – plus a dashing half brother Jacobi Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe, who is a polo-playing man about town.
Harry’s squeeze is exactly the sort of young lady over whom tea-towel manufacturers get a heart murmur, unlike Prince Andrew’s “friend”, the Croatian swimwear model Monika Jakisic, who is 20 years younger than Andrew and has a portfolio full of “arty” snaps of herself clad in knickers totally unsuited to the Balmoral chill.
Andrew has strenuously denied the engagement rumours, which began after Monika uploaded a snap of a diamond ring and a posh dinner receipt on Instagram.
Given that I’m eternally fascinated eternally by what on earth Prince Andrew gets up to all day – in the absence of an actual role – any explanation of what he’s not getting up to is pretty compelling, too.
What an impressive election victory, Mr Kim
Congratulations Kim Jong-un for his incredible success in North Korea’s “Supreme People’s Assembly” election.
The Kim-ster was elected to the highest legislative body without a single dissenting vote, according to state media. And on a 100 per cent turn-out, too. Gosh, it’s been quite the month for this plucky, rockabilly quiffed attack dog-loving despot.
Super-Kim has recently returned home from his jaunt to Sochi 2014, where – according to his Information Service – the “glorious and exalted” leader took a gold medal in Ski Jumping, “flying higher and farther than scientists had previously believed humanly possible”. And now this: a resounding win in his electoral region of Mount Paekdu.
“This is an expression of all the service personnel and people’s absolute support and profound trust,” the state-run Korean Central News Agency said. There was no one else on the ballot.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments