Britain's men become more sexist after having a child. But it doesn't have to be this way

As a new dad myself, I was slightly perturbed to read this morning that “Men adopt 'traditional views on gender roles' after becoming a father for first time” – in other words, first-time dads suddenly become a little bit more sexist soon after their bouncy babies are handed to them. But then, as a scientist, I had to delve deeper into the veracity of these claims – and why couples in the UK are apparently becoming less enlightened during parenthood (a time when it pays to be more open-minded than ever.) Because it’s not necessarily a trend that is reflected elsewhere.

Firstly, how does the science play out behind this one? Well, when asked to rate the statement “If both partners in a couple work, they should share equally in the housework and care of the children”, men’s agreement (rated on a 7-point scale) dropped from 4.9/7 before the birth of their first child to 4.6/7 afterwards (a decrease that – while small numerically – is statistically significant). Similarly, men’s agreement with the statement that “Whatever career a woman may have, her most important role in life is still that of being a mother” increased from 4.9/7 to 5.3/7.

But look beyond the headlines at the original research article, and a more nuanced picture emerges. While the original Independent report, and the blog post on which it was based, both highlight those questionnaire items on which men’s attitudes became more sexist following fatherhood, there are also several for which their attitudes did not change. New fathers were no more likely to disagree with statements about children doing just as well if the mother is the breadwinner while the father stays at home, for instance.

An even more important aspect of this research, which seems to have been missed out in most coverage, is that new mothers also became more traditional in their attitudes towards parenting and gender divisions of labour. Indeed, for two questionnaire items – “Whatever career a woman may have, her most important role in life is still that of being a mother” and “As long as the care is good, it is fine for children under 3 years of age to be placed in childcare all day for 5 days a week” – new mothers showed a greater increase of conservative attitudes than did new fathers. In many ways, that fact is the most striking of the lot.

Dads aren’t off the hook completely, however. Firstly, there were two questions – both relating to working mothers – where the mums showed a great shift towards equal attitudes than their partners . Secondly, setting aside changes in attitude after becoming parents, dads were overall more traditional in their attitudes than mums . It’s not looking good for liberal values getting passed on to the offspring.

So both new mums and new dads become more traditional after the arrival of their first child. But why? The authors of the original study point the finger at work and parental leave arrangements. Given that fathers almost always receive considerably less leave than mothers (e.g., 2 weeks vs 52 weeks in the UK), a “traditional” division of labour between paid work (dads) and childcare (mums) is almost inevitable, at least at the start. The idea that new parents can “share equally in the housework and care of the children” is pure fantasy, since the vast majority of childcare (and accompanying housework such as making meals and wiping up sick) will take place while dad is at work. Unsurprisingly, countries that have more egalitarian leave policies, such as Sweden, where 12 months can be freely shared between parents, have a more egalitarian division of housework and childcare. Indeed, a recent review of all 27 countries in the EU found a significant relationship between length of paternity leave and the amount of men’s involvement in childcare and housework.

The lesson to take away from this research is that, if we want to challenge traditional gender roles regarding housework and childcare in the UK, we desperately need a more enlightened policy surrounding parental leave; ideally one that is financially neutral with regard to which parent goes to work, and which stays at home. In the meantime, let’s not do dads a disservice by pretending that traditional attitudes are solely – or even mainly - their preserve. Attempting to fight one stereotype – the 1950s family – with another – the shirking, sexist dad - will get us nowhere.